Meditations and Confessions of a Woman Found

Let the first grader talking begin!

2012-02-01T18:15:00.000-08:00

So there I was, sitting on the ground on the sidelines of my 7 year old's basketball practice, reading from my Kindle, glancing up to catch attempts at making baskets, when the most dreaded child on the team (who's always fighting his own teammates for the ball) boldly trotted right up to me, leaned his squinty-eyed face forward and demanded, "Is that and ipad?!"

"Nope," I answered, "It's a Kindle Fire."

More inquisitiveness. "Well, do you read books on it?!"

"Yep."

"What book are you reading now?"

"The Bible."

"What's that?!"

"Have you ever heard of the Bible?"

"No. I went to church once. Heard the Bible. But there's nothing in it."

"Oh, but there is something in it!"

"What's it about then?"

"It's about how God loves you."

"God!? Who's God??"

"He's the One who made you."

"Me?! What?!"

The sound of a loud whistle interrupted an eternally significant conversation with a rambunctious first grader. He ran off to his coach. I watched. Looked up in the black sky where bright, twinkling lights shone in a dark world.

Oh that we'd talk about God who loves us more. Simply. Not politically-correctly. Childlike. Not theologian-like.

More talking about God's story and us in it and His love for us. Less grumbling and complaining and bickering and pointing fingers.

Oh that we would talk about God's goodness and our brokenness and His marvelous plan to save us and make us new.

Let the talking begin!

"Well, what if so-and-so's religion isn't the same as yours?" my friend the critic asks.

So-and-so and I would have a much better relationship if we talked about God and our brokenness in a candid, first-grader way rather than trying to be all suit-and-tie, amendment-quoting, society-sterilizing and elephant-ignoring about the God whom without we would not exist. And even if so-and-so thinks we would exist without God, let's talk. Let's hear some elementary style questions like, "God who?" And some child-of-God like answers such as, "The God who made and loves you."

Let the first grader God-talking begin!

Do everything without grumbling and arguing so that you may be blameless and pure, innocent children of God surrounded by people who are crooked and corrupt. Among these people you shine like stars in the world because you hold on to the word of life. -Phil.2:14-16

Quieted,

Sheila

Waiting. Anticipating.

2011-11-30T18:41:00.000-08:00

This is a very sacred time for me.

Something transforming was conceived in me nearly 7 years ago while I was heavy with child, enduring betrayal and all around me were the lights, bells, talk of presents and Christmas music.

Every year since that get-on-your-knees-so-you-can-see-your-Savior-God-made-into-flesh season when I was humbled and lifted up, Christmas is sacred to me.

I'm not distracted by the obsession with sales and decking the halls. I'm fixed on God made into flesh. I'm struck by Almighty humbled. I'm taken with expectancy for my coming King.

Each year I seem to hear a different tune in the divine melody God has been singing to me over these 6 plus years. This year its the sound of advent which has captivated me.

I didn't grow up with any kind of advent tradition, but a few years ago I came across this Jesse Tree and decided I wanted my kids to grow up with that as part of their Christmas memories.

Yesterday we hung our first ornament, or taped our first printout I should say, on our hand-drawn Jesse Tree. The reading was from the book of Isaiah where God says, "You're about as useful as a tree stump, but I'm going to grow a shoot out of your stumpiness. A Savior from the stump of Jesse (my interpretation)." Hence the Jesse Tree. And so we began tonight with creation. We went all the way back to the beginning to see how, from our fall, all creation as been waiting for redemption.

As I was reading last night my oldest challenged me, "We already know these stories! Why do we have to read them again?!" I was hurt. He obviously didn't hear the heavenly chorus I heard. I wanted him to hear. I wanted that seed to take root. I wanted... Jesse's shoot to grow out of him! And then I heard it, that sweet melody.

"You're waiting too Sheila. Not for your Savior to be born on earth but for Christ to be formed in you and your sons... in all those you pray for and plant seeds of truth-in-love in."

Yes! Advent. I'm waiting. I'm groaning. I'm longing. My soul sings, "Come thou long expected Jesus..." though I know he came 2000 years ago. I cry, "Oh come, Oh come, Emmanuel. And ransom captive ___________." The blank fills with names. And its not just them I'm Savior-longing for.

I hunger. I thirst. For rightness. His righteousness. Christ in me. The hope of glory. The me He made me to be.

I'm waiting. I'm anticipating. I'm believing. I'm hoping against hope like Abraham. Though I'm as good as dead in reproductive righteousness. Though I've produced my share of Ishmael's.

I'm waiting. Israel's song of old is my song. Their longing is my longing. Mary was pregnant with her God and Savior. And all creation labors, even me. Believing the day of His glory revealed in me (oh what amazing grace!) is coming. Even now, little by little it is being formed.

Christmas is so much more.

Listen past the jingle bells.
Look beyond the latest sales.
Hear the sound of redemption.
Pay attention to the groaning for glory.
Hold fast to the hope of His coming!

For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.-Romans 8:22-25

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.- Matthew 5:6

My little children, for whom I labor in birth again until Christ is formed in you...- Galatians 4:19

For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith. -Galatians 5:5

Quieted,

Sheila

Joy for me

2011-11-03T20:27:00.000-07:00

It really is true: There is no greater joy than to know that your children walk in the truth.

Tonight, tucking the boys in bed, "Let's pray," initiates faces to pillows and hands folded for one child followed by, "God. Thank you for the ability to throw a baseball. And thank you that I have a brother to play with." And the mom gives thanks in her heart for the joy of hearing her son remembering God who gives him strength and brother.

For the other the que doesn't trigger the praying posture but a aha-moment look on his face and, "I know! I've got a good one! Thank you God that every day there's always something to learn." Impressed by the 6 year old boys thinking I commented, "That is a good one son!" And gave thanks for the pure pleasure of hearing thoughtful thanksgiving from my almost 7 year old Christmas gift.

I get weary of the things. The toys. The latest gadgets and goodies and attempts at making our kids "happy" that are everywhere. I'll take words of thanks rolled off little lips to a Great Redeemer who once walked through age 6 and 8 for them.

No greater joy. Period.

Quieted,

Sheila

Words fascinate me

2011-10-18T14:16:00.000-07:00

Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all. - Winston Churchill

Awhile back I set out to write 300 words a day and to publish a blog once a week. Well, that didn't happen. But I really want to write! This morning I wrote out two blog posts I decided not to publish because I realized though I have a lot I want to say, these are meditations that right now I need to keep chewing on.

I enjoy looking up words in ancient Hebrew. I know. I'm strange. Its just fascinating to me. Words mean things. Often their meanings are different than we believe. We get used to hearing words spoken in a certain context and we loose the real meaning.

Love, for instance.

As I was walking into Sprouts this morning to pick up my favorite apples (Fuji) and a few veggies I was reliving a short conversation I had yesterday with a close family member. We hadn't talked in a long time and so, because there is so much to say, we said very little. But before we hung up "I love yous" were exchanged. I was thinking this morning, we should really be saying, "I'm endeared to you." Or, "I care about you." But not really "I love you." I know, its just a salutation we so often use (especially in my family), like "Good Morning!" and "How are you?" But the word love is so rich with meaning. I often lament that we don't use it rightly.

"I love you" means I lay down my life for you. It means, I am patient with you. It means I am kind to you, I don't envy you, I never give up on you, I am not self-seeking in my relationship to you...etc.

Love is something. It does something. It really isn't just affectionate feelings toward another. Affectionate feelings are just that- feelings of endearment to another. But love is what one does when the affectionate feelings are absent. I love a perfect stranger when I pick up the bottle they dropped in the store, or open the door so they can get through, or don't yell at them when they cut me off, or patiently teach them daily though they whine.

I thought all that in about 10 seconds. See why I have a hard time sitting down to write 300 hundred words a day?

I journaled at home today and then ran errands and heard a guy on the radio declare that no one writes in a journal anymore. "I do." I muttered back at the speakers. Are there any other endangered journal writers like me out there who still enjoy the feeling of pen to paper?

I looked back through my journal today and saw clearly how patient God is with me. And was reminded that I am where He wants me to be. That's one reason I like to keep a written journal.

I ate lunch with my 2nd and 3rd graders today, and yesterday. My 3rd grader isn't so happy to have mom show up at his lunch table where sweaty 8 year old friends of his planned on mulling over the highlights of the playground kickball game they just finished. Makes me sad. I'm entering a new phase with him. Not sure how to do this. I'm thinking I should stand my ground and show up for lunch whether he sulks or not. One day he'll be glad I was there.

OK. I'm pretty sure that's WAY more than 300 words.

I'll wrap up with, I LOVE fall. I mean, I thoroughly enjoy the beauty of fall. There aren't many fall colors in the Phoenix valley in mid October when its a high of 98 degrees. But Fuji apples and pumpkins around the house are enough to make me smile.

Quieted,

Sheila

Greater than us

2011-09-04T12:14:00.000-07:00

There are certain times that I purposely refrain from speaking out what's on my mind. I KNOW whatever comes out may come from truth but by the time it passes through my hormone-drunk synapses and makes its way to my lips it will be about as pleasant to hear as a steak dinner served on a trash can lid is pleasant to eat.

Nevertheless, sometimes you have to speak. You can't refrain from saying, "Happy Birthday!" on those brain-chemical emotion-spun days just because tears may flow with the words and kids may ask, "Why are you crying mom?!"

Today is one of those days. And there are many, many things I would like to say. Partly because I'm drowning in the hormonal curse of the fall of Eve and partly, or mostly in actuality, because I'm proud and want to explain myself. I could keep publicly quiet, but to many of you I've publicly shared the trials related to what today marks for me. And so, by the grace of God, I am putting a strong restraint on my weak lips and letting go of pride (you dastardly precursor to hard falls) and am choosing to simply say these very loaded-with-faith words:

My husband and I have returned to our vows on this 18th anniversary of making them. He chooses his wife and children. I choose letting go and faithfulness.

It’s greater than us
It’s binding us
Third cord holding together weakness

Two is better than one
Three cannot be easily undone

It’s the promise I’ve come back to

I Sheila, still take you to be my husband today as I did 18 years ago. I promise to be faithful to you for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. I promise to help you, stand by you and encourage you until death parts us. What God has joined together, let us never again separate.

Quieted,

Sheila

Sweet spot

2011-07-28T08:16:00.000-07:00

My family is shaping up to be a baseball family. I enjoy baseball. One of the coolest things about baseball is the sound you can feel in your gut when a batter hits the sweet spot of the bat making perfect contact with the pitched ball. You know instantly, "That's outta here!"

There's a sweet spot paragraph in the Bible for me. Romans 4:17-19.

This happened because Abraham believed in the God who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing. Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping—believing that he would become the father of many nations. For God had said to him, "That's how many descendants you will have!"And Abraham's faith did not weaken, even though, at about 100 years of age, he figured his body was as good as dead—and so was Sarah's womb. - NLT

Maybe you'd have to be a baseball person, or rather, a Christ-hoping person. Cause I really don't think I can explain it. The words, "...believed in the God who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing..." Sweet spot. Can you feel it? Can you hear it in your inner person?

Faith in THAT God will knock any screw-ball pitch thrown my way in life out of the park!

Nothing. Not even a hundred year old man and woman's body. Not even a two year separation with no end in sight. Not even an addiction I cannot shake. Not even a history of failure I can not deny. Not even the obviousness that I'm not what I was made to be and have no ability to make myself otherwise as much as I try. Not even blood that reminds once again there is no life, no child, no growing family.

Even when there's no reason for hope. Even when all dreams are shattered. Even when logic says, "There's no way!" I believe in a God who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing.

"...and not having been weak in the faith, he did not consider his own body..." Romans 4:19 emphasis added

Here's the secret: Don't consider your own body. Don't decide what you believe based on your circumstances. Consider His body. Decide what you believe based on the One who forgives sinners.

"When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for sinners. Now most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though some might be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners..." - Romans 5:6-8 NLT

And since God would do this for us, and show us how much He loves us by being willing to walk in our shoes, humbly, and be rejected, even to the point of death, just to save us from being condemned, and to make us friends of God again... what circumstance is there that He won't redeem? What death is there that He can't bring life out of? What deep longing for what we were made for can He not quicken to life? This is my God!

Fast balls. Curve balls. Knuckle balls. Gonna-strike-you-out balls. Whatever comes my way... my God works ALL pitches together for good to make me the woman He created me to be. Every one hits the sweet spot because that's just how my God works!

Quieted,

Sheila

A summer for new feet

2011-07-25T09:07:00.000-07:00

There is a time and a season for everything. Sometimes it seems its time for the same thing every season. But this summer was different than other summers. I thought it was a season for me to enjoy the fruit of my labors, but it was actually a time for new feet.

This was a summer of getting to know neighbors, piano lessons, waiting on God and seeing His clear provision. It was a summer of discovering hidden dreams in my children and finding new ways to guide them in that direction. It was a summer of re-connecting with loved ones far away. This summer I planted a garden and stuck to a budget. This summer was a summer of planning and dreaming and letting go of what it’s not time for. I was a summer of choosing to do something good while I wait for the One who decides the times and seasons.

I have plans and dreams. I must plan and dream, but I also must yield to the One who created the times and seasons. My times are in His hands. I can build, but if He’s not building the structure will last as long as a tulip planted in the middle of summer. It’s not time. It’s not the season.

Long ago, a guy with a strange name had plans, but it wasn’t time. He saw destruction all around him. Nothing he desired was coming to pass. Yet instead of getting bitter he yielded to the reality that it was altogether a different season than he expected. He had every reason to grow depressed but instead he rejoiced in the One who makes seasons, the One who declares things that aren’t as though they are. This guy thought it was a harvest season, but it was a season of transformation. He thought it was a season for fruit, but it was a season for feet.

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign LORD is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights. –Habakkuk 3:17-19

Quieted,

Sheila

A cupful of Niagara Falls

2011-06-26T22:45:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm trying to catch the lesson on forgiveness much like a person would feel who's trying to catch a cup of water by holding a mug out under the Niagara Falls.

I know with my head that forgiveness is the crux of Christianity. But its taking me a good two years plus to get a cupful of what it looks like in my life.

I think some of what I'm hearing about forgiveness didn't splash out of the cup today, or bowl me over on my backside. I think I managed to get a handle on a little of it.

Letting it go.
Running to the arms of the only One who really understands and letting go of being owed affection, protection, provision...love. Yes its owed. Yes it hurts. Yes its right. But let it go. The desire to jab back. The desire to expose and embarrass. Even the desire to be the one to convince and convict that a wrong was done.

Washing feet instead.
In place of those desires fill in some minimum wage-like service that isn't deserved or paid. Clean something for them. Cook something for them.

Freeing yourself and the other from the bond of bitterness.
Bitterness may be a wicked bond, nevertheless it does bind two people together like shackles. Letting go of what is owed is the only way to break that bond. Other bonds may have to go with those bitter shackles. Good things. Friendships you wanted. Relationships you desired. Plans you had for the two of you. There may be scars. There may be a lack of closeness. But there can be freedom and peace.

Hold steady now Sheila. Drink in what you've got there. Let it soak in.

Quieted,

Sheila

“Planning to write is not writing. Outlining, researching, talking to people about what you're doing, none of that is writing. Writing is writing.”

2011-06-20T22:13:00.000-07:00

So I've set a goal for myself after talking with my writing friend... I'm going to write 300 words a day for the summer, and I'll post a blog once a week.

I want to be a disciplined person, but I'm not.

I made a chart for my sons so they know the things they MUST do before they do the things they want to do everyday. I think I need to make one for myself:

Get coffee
Get dressed
Brush teeth
Write 300 words

Here's to developing my joy of writing.

*Title quote from E.L. Doctorow

Quieted,

Sheila

Receiving

2011-06-19T22:10:00.000-07:00

I think maybe at least part of the reason Jesus said, "It's more blessed to give than to receive," is because He knew how we we want to, or think we, deserve what we are given.

He knows we humans have a hard time humbly receiving gifts. We are either calloused and proud and want to make our own way, or, we are self-centered and proud and think we deserve everything. I guess that's part of our fallen nature. But its a God-thing in us when we receive with meekness and honor the giver.

I was given probably the largest, monetary-value gift I've ever received this week. It was hard to receive with grace. I felt like it was so cheap to just say, "Thank you." I didn't know how to show my gratitude. I wanted to jump up and down and dance and scream and run around telling everyone what an amazing gift I was given. So I began thinking a lot about the right way to receive a gift. I'm learning four things you may think I should have already known: It's important to say thank you. Honor the giver by how you use the gift. Remember God is ultimately the source of the gift. And remember the greatest Gift I've been given is Christ!

If I know I didn't earn what I've been given and try to payback the giver in some way, I fail to honor the giver or show thankfulness.

If I think I deserve the gift, that its my "right", then I have no grace or humility and also fail to honor the giver and express thankfulness.

God teaches me to receive gifts from people through how He's taught me to receive His gift.

I think of the story in the Bible of the 10 lepers who Jesus had pity on and healed. Only ONE of the ten came back to say thank you. Jesus marveled that only one person expressed his gratitude. From this story God teaches me that He values expressing thankfulness to the giver.

The other story that comes to mind is the Big Story!

The Bible says God gave us His only Son. When we trust in the Son as our salvation we are given the greatest gift... and more gifts indescribable. And God specifically teaches us that we can't pay Him back... we can never earn this gift. But we can live thankful lives and honor the Giver by how we live.

This teaches me not try to earn a gift I've been given, or pay back the giver, but to use the gift in a way that honors the giver.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above..."

"... it is the gift of God, not of works, lest any man should boast."

"When people work, their wages are not a gift, but something they have earned.But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinners. "

"Receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls."

"In everything, give thanks."

"Our Father who is in heaven...Give us this day our daily bread..."

We don't earn gifts. We don't deserve them either. Earning and deserving are what we do to get a paycheck. Gifts are to be received thankfully, and used honorably.

So, if you're reading this, and you played a part in the gracious gift I received this week, I know I said it before, but let me say it again, Thank you! I pray I can honor your generosity and God's goodness by being a giver.

This generous gift also got me thinking about the gift of God. What I've received in Christ is far greater than anything I could ever be given in this life. Have I received what God has given me with such excitement and humility? Do I live a thankful life? Do I honor the Giver by the way I live? Oh Lord let it be!

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 6:23

Quieted,

Sheila

An Easter Allegory

2011-04-23T13:09:00.000-07:00

My first attempt at an Easter Allegory. A story about the foolishness of not dying to yourself to follow the Savior of the World in light of His death and resurrection.

There once was a barn full of seeds. The seeds were piled up high waiting to be planted.

One group of seeds didn't want to be planted. They managed to work together to hide behind a stack of hay so that when the farmer came they would be left behind.

As the bags of seed were taken for planting, the bag of seed which had hidden themselves began bragging and laughing about how smart they were to break away and make it on their own.

One day a loose seed, which had fallen out of one of the bags that had been taken for planting, was swept along by a large gust of wind and landed beside the hiding bag of seed.

The lonely seed said, "Oh no! The farmer has left a bag of seed here!" But the bag full of seeds cried out, "No! The farmer didn't leave us. We are hiding! We don't want to be planted. We don't want to fall apart in the dirt. We want to enjoy being seeds and stay right here."

The lonely seed answered with great concern, "But don't you realize that you are all going to rot here over the winter and die anyway?

Haven't you heard about the King of Seeds?

We all came from Him. He laid down His life and was planted in our ground and rose up into life-giving wheat! If you don't let yourself get planted in the ground just as He did, you will never get to live as grain and be made into bread to feed people. You'll die alone! But if you go out into the field and die in the ground you will sprout up into a totally new thing. You'll become a beautiful plant. And then you'll become many more seeds and more plants and more bread. You'll never really die. But if you stay here and hide, the winter will come and you will rot and then be burned."

Most of the seeds in the bag began to boo and scream, "Go away! We're happy just as we are!" But a few seeds cried out, "Can you help us! We don't want to stay here and rot! We want to be planted by the farmer so we can be raised up into wheat and made into bread and more seeds!"

So the seeds who longed to become wheat managed to rub a hole through the bag and spill out. A gust of wind blew the seeds far from the proud bag and were scooped up by the farmer's son. The son then carried the seeds excitedly to his dad, the farmer, asking if he could plant them.

So the son of the farmer planted the seeds. He watched and waited and watered them while the hiding bag of seed lay undiscovered behind the hay in the barn.

After weeks had past and harvest time came the lonely seed and his eager friends were growing tall and beautiful in the field. Each were cut down. Some of their grains were taken to be ground into flour. Some were taken to be planted again. All of them were happy to be living as a new thing and giving life to others. But the selfish, hiding bag of seed lay abandoned in the barn and when winter came, they all rotted.

Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives. Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity." -John 12:25

Paul explained, "But someone may ask, "How will the dead be raised? What kind of bodies will they have?" What a foolish question! When you put a seed into the ground, it doesn't grow into a plant unless it dies first. And what you put in the ground is not the plant that will grow, but only a bare seed of wheat or whatever you are planting. Then God gives it the new body he wants it to have.

A different plant grows from each kind of seed. Similarly there are different kinds of flesh—one kind for humans, another for animals, another for birds, and another for fish. There are also bodies in the heavens and bodies on the earth. The glory of the heavenly bodies is different from the glory of the earthly bodies. The sun has one kind of glory, while the moon and stars each have another kind. And even the stars differ from each other in their glory.

It is the same way with the resurrection of the dead. Our earthly bodies are planted in the ground when we die, but they will be raised to live forever. Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength. They are buried as natural human bodies, but they will be raised as spiritual bodies. For just as there are natural bodies, there are also spiritual bodies.

The Scriptures tell us, "The first man, Adam, became a living person." But the last Adam—that is, Christ—is a life-giving Spirit.

What comes first is the natural body, then the spiritual body comes later.

Adam, the first man, was made from the dust of the earth, while Christ, the second man, came from heaven.

Earthly people are like the earthly man, and heavenly people are like the heavenly man. Just as we are now like the earthly man, we will someday be like the heavenly man.

What I am saying, dear brothers and sisters, is that our physical bodies cannot inherit the Kingdom of God. These dying bodies cannot inherit what will last forever. But let me reveal to you a wonderful secret. We will not all die, but we will all be transformed!

It will happen in a moment, in the blink of an eye, when the last trumpet is blown. For when the trumpet sounds, those who have died will be raised to live forever. And we who are living will also be transformed.

For our dying bodies must be transformed into bodies that will never die; our mortal bodies must be transformed into immortal bodies.

Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled: "Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?"

For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ." - 1 Corinthians 15:35-57

Happy Easter!

Sheila

A whiff of heaven

2011-03-24T21:06:00.000-07:00

Explaining sanctification to a 7 year old is really... clarifying. I think all we who claim to be Christians should at some point try describing the process of "being sanctified" to a child.

It was a really precious moment. And quite frankly I wasn't expecting it. Actually I was tired, cold and day-dreaming about when I'd get to be in a quiet house with sleeping kids sipping a cup of vanilla roiboos tea latte, when a sweet(and very smart I might add) seven year old friend of mine came up to me at the bleachers and declared, "Uhm. Mrs. Sheila. I don't think I'm a Christian anymore."

Ding Dong. Publishers Clearinghouse just knocked on your door and you're in your PJ's Sheila!

I turned and looked the serious and concerned little guy in the eye and asked why he didn't think he was a Christian anymore. He explained that even though he believed in Jesus as his Savior he was still doing things he knew were wrong. He sited an example from school today and said, "I still joke about things in a bad way and I know its wrong."

My heart was instantly rejoicing!

First, here I was in a most un-suspecting moment, given a priceless opportunity to invest in eternity. Always be ready.

Secondly, the tenderness of this precious boy's heart! So ready to confess. So willing to see the error of his natural ways. Oh that we would all be so childlike! We can't enter the kingdom any other way!

Third, NOTHING else satisfies like doing what your Creator and Savior has given you the grace to do! When you do what you were made to do you can understand why Jesus said, "I have food you know nothing about," leaving his followers scratching their heads wondering where He found chow while they were gone.

I had been feasting myself on crackers with cream cheese, watching my son play baseball on a beautiful spring evening, but when this golden moment was before me and I took it, I tasted the pleasures of heaven. I think I inhaled a whiff of the joy of the Kingdom while I labored in the Master's field for a few minutes.

"You know honey, the very fact that you are troubled by the joke you made at school today is evidence of the work of God's Spirit in you! Being a Christian is kind of like planting a seed in your garden. When you plant a seed what do you see?"

"Dirt."

"Yeah. You see dirt for awhile. And then pretty soon you start to see a little green pop out from the dirt. But even before you saw the green sprout, under the ground that seed was doing its work. Eventually, the seed will grow and grow..."

"I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW what your saying now Mrs. Sheila! When Jesus came to live inside of me I couldn't really see it. But pretty soon He'll get bigger and bigger!!!"

Aroma of heaven. Joy unspeakable.

"Yes sweetheart. You just keep telling Jesus thank you for dying for all your sins. You keep telling Him your sorry when you know you did wrong. You keep following Jesus, trusting Him and He'll just get bigger and bigger in you!"

Little by little I will drive them out from before you, until you have increased, and you inherit the land. - Exodus 23:30

And all of us have had that veil removed so that we can be mirrors that brightly reflect the glory of the Lord. And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more. -2 Corinthians 3:18

"The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it." - Isaiah 55:10-11

Quieted,

Sheila

My last post in one sentence

2011-02-23T19:11:00.000-08:00

Jesus is really the only One who can condemn you and the only One who can really save you.

Quieted,

Sheila

One of my favorite words expounded

2011-02-20T11:31:00.000-08:00

Just as kind of a warning. This is a wordy post. I've worked thru my thoughts on this subject and it may be a little tangent-y. Also I'm no Biblical scholar, but I love the scriptures.

Redeemer. Its one of my all time favorite words.

I'm no literacy expert, I don't even really have good grammar, but I love words! I especially love words from the Old Testament in the Bible because they are so rich with meaning. This is why a couple Sundays ago, when my pastor talked about an ancient Hebrew word I got really excited.

The word is ga'al.

Ga'al means: to redeem, act as kinsman-redeemer, avenge, revenge, ransom, do the part of a kinsman.

Doesn't that excite you?!

I should explain.

My pastor was talking about a system of government described in the Old Testament which Israel lived by. He explained that capital punishment, in cases of murder, was carried out by the nearest kin of the person who was killed. That closest relative is called ga'al because he had to avenge the death of his relative by executing the person found guilty of the killing.

What really caught my attention was when he pointed out that the word used to describe this next of kin who carried out the execution is the same word used in the book of Ruth to describe Boaz, the wealthy man who married her.

Ruth was rescued from a life without a future when her dead husband's nearest relative, a man named Boaz, willingly took her as his wife. She was given a whole new life, even the honor of being in the geneology of the Savior of the world, when Boaz married her. Its really a wonderful story. This story has helped me over the years to see in more detail the reality of what Christ has done for me. He has mercifully given me a RICH future and hope.

In Ruth's story Boaz layed down his life for Ruth in that he took on the responsibility of marriage- loving a wife, investing his life in hers. In that he showed redemption. He paid the price to save Ruth from a hopeless future. But in the case of the ga'al who makes certain a person guilty of killing his relative pays the price, how can he be called the kinsman redeemer? How is he redeeming anyone?

As I was listening to my pastor talk about the ga'al carrying out the punishment for a crime, Romans 8:34 came to mind and my insides leaped for joy! The answer is right there!

Who [is] he that condemneth? [It is] Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. - Romans 8:34 KJV

There is someone who can condemn us. Christ can! He is our ga'al. He is our kinsman redeemer. He is humanity's next of kin in that He is the closest relative we have to God. He is the only MAN who lived the undefiled image of God. We were all created in the image of God, but as Lamentations says, "The crown is fallen from our head: woe unto us, that we have sinned!" (Lamentations 5:16)

Christ is the only God-man. He is the only connection, the only mediator, the only kinship we have to the One who made us in His image. We are not God, be we were made in His image, to display His likeness, to give weight to His character. But we don't! That's why life is a mess! That's why neighbors fight and dogs get parvo and 6 year olds hit each other and yell, "THAT'S MINE!" and babies die and parents neglect their children.... I could go on and on!

We have destroyed each other, either directly or indirectly, and Christ is the nearest kinsman we have to God. He can condemn us because He's the ONLY one who can save us, or He's the ONLY one who can save us because He can condemn us. He is God in flesh. He has every right to carry out vengance on us for our actions, but instead He layed down His life for us. He took upon Himself the death our plagued-with-sin actions cause.

Christ is humanity's ga'al. We stand before Him condemned, guilty in our sin. And we have a choice. Either we humble ourselves, like Ruth, acknowledging our dependence upon Him for our future, embracing the redemption that is ours since HE paid the price. Or we proudly go about our lives, denying our need for a Savior.

All have sinned. All are offered the redemption of our ga'al. The good news is so good because the answer to the question, "Who can condemn us?" in Romans 8:34 is, "Christ! But He died for us! And He rose from death and lives forever interceeding on our behalf!"

Quieted,

Sheila

It's easy to miss

2011-02-09T19:24:00.000-08:00

Tonight I caught myself moping.

I was comparing my problems to others and thinking they had nothing to complain about. Boy is that a slippery slope! It's a fast ride down to the pool of depression. But thank the Lord I caught myself. Actually He caught me and said, "Thank Me for the grace I give to help you in your time of need."

I was naturally inclined to ignore that thought and keep moping. Sliding quickly down. Down. Down. But I didn't. Instead I opened my mouth and said, "Thank You Lord that you've given me the grace to go through this. And thank you that you've provided others in my life the grace to go through what they go through."

It was as though I was on some weird Willy Wonka chocolate factory ride. Suddenly there was no mad, out of control spin of depressing thoughts. There was just a peace that put all that to rest. My circumstances didn't change. I still hate it that I have to go through this. But everyone has to go through stuff.

In this world there's trouble. Period. Some go through their storms with the One whom the wind and the waves obey (even though at times it may feel like He's taking a nap while you're about to sink). Some try to muscle through. Others jump ship. But for any of us who would simply thank God for the grace He provides- not just to grin and bear it, but to grow in it, be made more beautiful by it, become stronger through it, and come out as gold when its over- for us there is a sweetness which is easy to miss in this bitter life.

It's gonna take some clinging. Its gonna take some trusting. Its gonna take remembering who our God is. He understands. He knows us. We're gonna have to be bold so we can find, and not miss, the grace He so generously gives when we need it.

That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same temptations we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it. - Hebrews 4:14-16

Quieted,

Sheila

Our Epic

2011-01-02T12:04:00.000-08:00

I really like epic movies. You know, good battles evil enduring much suffering and even death to overcome and ultimately triumph for the rescue of many. Its a thread of truth which seems to run through so many of our imaginings in movies and books.

In none of these tales do the heroes or heroins set out to suffer for sufferings sake. No, they are guided by a fixed right which is opposed. It isn't as though they set out to prove they are right, they just set out to do right. In the process they are tempted, tried and often tormented physically and or emotionally.

I recently watched Legend of the Guardians. It was right up my alley of enjoyable movies. In the story, Ezylryb, an old, raggedy looking owl in the "good" camp is the legendary character from a once-thought mythical tale told by the the believing main character. Turns out Ezylryb is not a myth. In fact he's so real he's somewhat of a disappointment to the owls who've discovered him. He has this great line in the movie where he points to his scars and mangled feathers and says something like, ...there is nothing glorious in being a warrior; it’s simply doing what’s right, over and over again. Even if it leaves you like this!

I LOVE that line! It reminds me of life as a Christian. Its not that we should set out for persecution and martyrdom... there's nothing glorious in suffering. Rather we are made more than conquerors by letting the love of Christ compel us as His Holy Spirit lives in us to do what is right over and over again. Even if it leaves us scarred and mangled.

I think this is kind of what Paul was saying when he reminded us what really matters as we live following Christ our Hero:

If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn't love others, I would be of no value whatsoever. -1 Corinthians 13:3

Love. Christ-like love is the right we are to set out to do over and over again even if it leaves us bruised and broken.

Christ-like love is not pampering or mushiness or even sentimentalism. Christ-like love sets out to do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with our Almighty Father God. It doesn't set out to make everyone like you. It doesn't set out to even fulfill one's own greatest potential. It lays down its life for others.

We who follow Christ get to live out (by His mercy and grace) the greatest epic our lives could ever play a role in. Our epic is Christ's love.

May we love, over and over, even if in this life it leaves us like a beat-up old owl.

What is important is faith expressing itself in love. -Galatians 5:6

Quieted,

Sheila

I believe

2010-12-20T20:47:00.001-08:00

I believe that there is one God, Creator of all things, who made people the crown of His creation. Living works of art in His own image. Loved, and therefore given the freedom to choose, we chose our own way and everything went terribly wrong.

I believe all of history is really HIS-STORY, the story of God redeeming with His own humbled, and sacrificed life, all that we destroyed- including ourselves.

I believe God was made into flesh and walked a mile in our shoes. I believe He knows us better than we know ourselves. For His awareness was not clouded by the poison of choosing wrongly. He experienced the fallen-ness of the mess we've made and loved us in the midst of it.

I believe He is the Savior of the world. I believe He is life and there is no other life. I believe one day He will make all things new.

I believe He loves me personally, knows me intimately, and will use all the messes I and others have made in my life for good to show His-story. For I believe I was made for Him. I am not my own, I am His masterpiece, His work of art, for His pleasure and by His great love and kindness I am a vessel by which He may shine.

I believe all my tears are precious to Him and He would have come just for me.

I believe all your tears are precious to Him too and He would have come just for you!

I believe no message is more vital to our children's souls than the message of Christ and His great love which He has for them!

I believe that even my believing is a gracious gift from God.

I trust you Lord! Have Your way in me! Thank You King of all kings for coming to the most humble of places and enduring such opposition just to redeem me!

I am not ashamed to believe in such a wonderful God as You!

Those who believe Him discover that God is true.- John 3:33

Quieted,

Sheila

Telling them the Old, Old Story

2010-11-28T19:12:00.000-08:00

Tonight we hung our stockings, put up some lights, had hot cocoa and hung up our Jesse Tree. Along side it a string of red and green rings, each with a different Bible verse on it to begin an Advent calendar come December first.

I sat my sons down and we talked about what the Jesse tree and string of red and green is for. I told them briefly about Isaiah, David, Jesse, God's promise and all the people who waited throughout history for the Savior God would send.

It was a struggle I'll tell ya. Getting my 5 and 7 year old to sit still long enough to listen to anything for 5 minutes is a highly tuned skill we're working on! But even through the redirection, correction, and frequent interruptions I found myself thinking determinedly, "I WILL tell my sons Your story God! I won't stop telling them about their Savior!"

After we finished I thought of a section from Psalm 78. Asaph wrote:

I will teach you hidden lessons from our past- stories we have heard and known... We will not hide these truths from our children, we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the LORD, about his power and his mighty wonders... He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children, so the next generation might know them- even the children not yet born- and they in turn will teach their own children. So each generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting his glorious miracles and obeying his commands. (from verses 2-7, New Living Translation)

I love this time of year for many reasons, but topping them all is the opportunity to daily tell my kids of my God and HIStory.

Quieted,

Sheila

Sharing a quote

2010-11-06T22:48:00.000-07:00

"Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." -Jim Elliot

Quieted,

Sheila

Two kinds of workouts

2010-08-28T17:05:00.000-07:00

Spend your time and energy in training yourself for spiritual fitness. Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next. -1 Timothy 4:7b-8 NLT

I did some exercise with a friend at the gym today. We mostly chatted while we worked out, but we also stood by while the other strained and struggled to get a work out. Were we mean to each other? Was it cruel of my friend to not insist I get off the treadmill so I could rest? No, of course not. We were there to sweat and strain. We were there to encourage each other to sweat and strain so we could strengthen our bodies and hearts.

I also did some exercise with another Friend in the car on the way to drop off my kids at their dad's house. I chatted with Him, actually I mostly poured out all my complaints and fears on Him while I drove. He kindly listened. Then I used all the strength I had to push my fears and doubts aside and say, "You are my Provider Lord. Thank you in advance for supplying my needs." I heard in reply, "You just strengthened your faith Sheila." My Friend didn't lift the weight on me while I was driving. And He wasn't cruel in not taking away my struggle. Rather He was helping me get a little Christ-like muscle and some everlasting endurance.

I need to remember that in the days ahead. Physically, I need resistance and strain to gain strength and endurance. And spiritually I need struggles and hardship to grow strong and finish this race!

So many times I look at the Lord, who is my Friend, Coach and Personal Trainer, and accuse Him of cruelty for not getting rid of the resistance in my life. But now that I think about it, that's about as ridiculous as me looking at my friend at the gym today and saying, "You're so mean! How dare you let me sweat and strain like this! Don't you even care that I'm struggling here?"

It's easy to forget. At least for me, that my Lord is good. There is no evil in Him at all. When hardship and struggle, pain and sorrow come into my life He is there with me. He knows how far to let these things resist me so that I might grow strong. He knows when to say, "That's enough. This test has served its purpose. Your workout is done."

Oh, how I need to remember this!

*image from Art.com

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

All the way!

2010-07-21T11:05:00.000-07:00

He leads me... even when I walk thru the dark valley of death... -Psalm 23:2b,4a

I just left the city pool where I watched my youngest take his swimming lesson. Two bleacher sets down, my estranged husband sat with my oldest.

We've been separated for over a year after 16 years of marriage and 5 years of reconciliation.

As I sat there in the blistering heat, tears flowed mixing with the sweat on my face. I looked up in the cloudy, hot sky and said in my heart, "Do you see me my Lord? Do you see how much I'm hurting?!!"

Five years ago my heart was full of enthusiasm to forgive and love... to let Christ be seen in me by my husband as I set out to just get behind him, "wash his feet", and be a blessing. It was my joy to just be home, and simply be a wife and mom! I felt it was my crown not just my duty. Jesus had loved me that way and I wanted to love my husband and kids that way!

But when this honor that I treasured and enjoyed so much was ripped from me I felt like Job:

He has stripped me of my glory, and taken the crown from my head! -Job 19:9 NLT

God gave me a crown, just like He gave Job. He gave us the everyday blessings of family and home, which we enjoyed and dedicated to God. We were content to bless God and others. We loved the Lord's love and set out to follow Him. But the very thing we were honored to do was taken from us. And we were left grieving.

But like Job, God has lifted my head and challenged me in my depression. He has reminded me that He is trying me and when I come forth I shall be as gold! He has reproved me and showed me that He knows what He's doing. He's leading me... EVEN thru the valley of the shadow of death. Yes He led me thru green pastures. Yes He led me beside still waters. But now He leads me thru the valley of the shadow of death and to a banquet table of His mercy and grace even while my enemies look on and point fingers!

As I was coming home from that painful swimming lesson the sweet Spirit of Comfort put a song in my heart. An old hymn.

All The Way My Savior Leads Me

by Frances J. Crosby 1875

All the way my Savior leads me,
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?

Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well;
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.

All the way my Savior leads me,
Cheers each winding path I tread,
Gives me grace for every trial,
Feeds me with the living Bread.

Though my weary steps may falter
And my soul athirst may be,
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see;
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see.

All the way my Savior leads me,
Oh, the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised
In my Father’s house above.

When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages:
Jesus led me all the way;
This my song through endless ages:
Jesus led me all the way

I began singing and something sweet, something more wonderful than my "crown" filled my soul! A joy in willingly trusting ALL to Jesus. An indescribable joy. As I sang I felt the tender love which binds me with my Saviour. Who I know I will one day see, Who makes all this worth it!

Just in case you feel stripped of some God-given joy, you may want to stop and sing right now too:

Isaiah 51:3

Waiting thru Saturday

2010-04-03T09:37:00.000-07:00

"As his body was taken away, the women from Galilee followed and saw the tomb where his body was placed. Then they went home and prepared spices and ointments to anoint his body. But by the time they were finished the Sabbath had begun, so they rested as required by the law." -Luke 23:55-56 NLT

I've been thinking about waiting on God. Waiting when I could do something to free myself from difficult circumstances. Waiting for God to intervene.

These women did what they could to make Jesus as beautiful as they could even though he was dead. They also waited when they could do nothing.

It's Saturday in my life. Somewhere between death and resurrection. There are things I could do. But I don't want what I can do. I want a miracle. I want new life. I want God to intervene. I want what Moses longed for when he wrote:

O LORD, come back to us! How long will you delay? Take pity on your servants! Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives. Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery! Replace the evil years with good. Let us, your servants, see you work again; let our children see your glory. And may the Lord our God show us his approval and make our efforts successful. Yes, make our efforts successful! - Psalm 90:13-17

I want to be like the women who grieved the death of their hopes when Jesus was crucified. Although I may not see or understand. Although I may doubt that there is any hope of fulfilled promises. I want to do what I can to make Jesus beautiful in the midst of His "death" in my life. And I want to learn to wait.

I believe my Saturday will not last forever. Sunday is coming. New life is coming. I hope for what I do not yet have, but I know my hope is sure! Resurrection will come. He may not come in my timing, or in the way I thought, but He will come!

So {I will} be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though I have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that my faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- though my faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when my faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring me much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

I love him even though I have never seen him. Though I do not see him now, I trust him; and I rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting in him will be the salvation of my soul. -1 Peter 1:6-9 NLT (personal application added by me).

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Good and Severe

2010-03-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

"Safe? Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you." — Mr. Beaver (The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis, Ch. 8)

My life has changed so much in the last year. It seems God has led me into the "valley of the shadow of death."

Today as I sat crying out to the Lord, longing for His salvation in my situation; longing for His right ways in my life, God renewed in me a desire to continue to speak out the encouragement He's given me, and to not stop just because I'm surrounded by pain and rejection.

So here's what I wanted to share:

Therefore consider the goodness and severity of God... -Romans 11:22 NKJV

Goodness and severity. Two things that don't seem to go together in my mind. But I find a strange fascination and comfort in believing that the Creator of the Universe, my Savior, and Lover of my soul is both good and severe.

I don't appeal to just a "nice guy" when I desperately cry out to God in my messed up life. I appeal to the severe One who controls all things; who led me into the situation I'm in. For, "He guides me... even when I walk through the darkest valley." (Psalm 23:4) And "{He} prepares a feast for me in the presence of my enemies." (Psalm 23:5)

I might not want God to be severe, but when facing desperate need, the only One who can really save me is the severe One who led me to that path of desperation in the first place.

If a judge lays down a heavy judgement against me, I might turn and plead to my nice neighbor until I'm blue in the face, but he isn't the one who laid such a severe penalty on me. He might be nice, yet he can't help me get out of the situation I find myself in. However, if I appeal to the severe judge, I appeal to the only one who can really do anything about my situation. And if out of His utter goodness He chooses to pay the judgement Himself, to take it away from me, I have been saved from that judgement indeed!

I'm glad God is good and severe. I need Him to be both. I fear His severity, yet I can't complain against it because He's so purely good. I know if ever He is severe with me, He's doing it in total goodness and for my good. And if He is severe with me I also treasure His goodness all the more. I can appeal to the goodness of the only One who can do anything about my desperate life.

Psalm 130:

A Song of Ascents.

Out of the depths I have cried to You, O LORD; Lord, hear my voice! Let Your ears be attentive To the voice of my supplications. If You, LORD, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But [there is] forgiveness with You, That You may be feared. I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope. My soul
[waits] for the Lord More than those who watch for the morning-- [Yes, more than] those who watch for the morning. {Oh Sheila}, hope in the LORD; For with the LORD [there is] mercy, And with Him [is] abundant redemption. And He shall redeem {Sheila} From all {her}iniquities. (personal application added by me)

"The LORD kills and makes alive; He brings down to the grave and brings up. The LORD makes poor and makes rich; He brings low and lifts up. He raises the poor from the dust [And] lifts the beggar from the ash heap, To set [them] among princes And make them inherit the throne of glory. "For the pillars of the earth [are] the LORD's, And He has set the world upon them." - 1 Samuel 2:6-8 NKJV

Oh LORD, only You have every right to be severe. Only You can truly do good without any false motives or selfishness. Only with You is there real salvation and forgiveness. Only with You is there real deliverance and life! I boldly run to You King of the Universe! Let Your goodness be known in my life!

Isaiah 51:3

It's His grief

2009-12-08T19:14:00.000-08:00

"...but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings... If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you." -1 Peter 3:13,14

Crying out tonight wanting to be genuine in my faith and praying that my sons will be too. Praying for their deliverance. Praying for one I'm hurt very much by. Crying more. Longing. Grieving.

I open up to Isaiah 53:

Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise Him; He has put Him to grief. When You make His soul an offering for sin, He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in His hand. He shall see the labor of His soul and be satisfied... (Isaiah 53:10-11a)

This is HIS grief I am getting to partake of to a certain extent. This isn't mine. He is not distant and uncaring, leaving me to wait this grief out. This isn't my grief, this is HIS! He already bore it to the full! I am only partaking of it to a very small extent. And my hope is great because this is HIS grief. His grief passed and He saw (sees) the labor of His soul satisfied! I too will see the labor of HIS soul and be satisfied! Because this is HIS, not mine. Oh Jesus, thank YOU!

If you're grieving tonight because someone looks down on you for your adoration of Jesus, someone you love, someone you don't want to loose... your grief is not your own. It's Jesus' grief. He bore it all and He sees the result of that pain and is satisfied. Some soul is won. Your heart is more bound to His. Pleasures that prosper in the nail-torn hands of Christ are the result of the grief He bore. The grief you and I get to partake of to a certain extent.

But even if you grieve tonight for some other reason. Maybe it's not because someone you love rejects you because of Christ. Maybe you grieve because you're tired, and the day to day, wear and tear of life has you weeping. Maybe you grieve because your child is choosing a way that is destructive. Maybe you grieve because your parent has never been there for you. Or because your spouse walked out on you. Sin destroys and leaves us all grieving. But let us remember that Jesus bore the grief we bear!

"Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows..." -Isaiah 53:4

Don't believe the LIE that God is distantly looking upon you, not knowing how you feel. HE KNOWS!!! In fact He bore the very grief that crushes you now! He is not just an all knowing God who understands how you feel. What grieves you He bore! Even the very sinful choices we've made which have affected our lives in such a way as to leave us grieving, HE bore!

A mist of His tears rolls down your cheek. The entirety of your tears rolled down His. A hint of His pain grips your heart. The full crushing weight of your pain exploded HIS! If you grieve tonight you grieve a dot of what He bore, because He bore ALL of humanities grief and sorrow while we, "...we hid, as it were, our faces from Him..."

I've turned my back on the enormity of His grief and pain, but He has not turned away from me!
I am the one who doesn't understand. He understands. He knows. And when I grieve let it drive me to looking and not hiding my face from Him.

Isaiah 51:3

Giving thanks brainstorm

2009-11-24T18:04:00.000-08:00

Thank YOU Jesus...

You are God. The One who knows what it feels like to be in a fallen place, in a fallen body. Who knows sorrow, rejection, grief and pain. Who suffered for all my mistakes, sin and crooked nature just so I could know God and be made right, the way You created me to be. Thank YOU because YOU are God!

Thank YOU Jesus...
For receiving what I offer You. For the promise that You will never leave me or forsake me. For being so patient with me! For promising to be my children's teacher and peace. For a computer. For an oven and a kitchen and a couch. For mountains to climb. For moments of refreshment. For beautiful sunsets. For chocolate. For songs that speak my heart. For not giving up on me. For the blessing of being a mom! For letting me hear Your voice. For hope. For the Church. For Your Word preserved! For the ability to hear. For Kris and Darren. For the ability to see. For Austin, Ashley, Robert and Makayla. For perfume. For the promise that You are greater than he who is in the world. For the promise that You have overcome the world. For clean water! For Ethan, Nolan, Avery, Liam. For Searchlight. For the ability to smell. For letters, emails and phone calls from friends. For the country I live in. For orchids. For Samuel's mom! For listening to me and answering my prayers! For sleep! For perfume! For Moses' mom! For my trip to San Diego with the boys!! For being with me when I'm alone. For the ability to see. For free access to Your word. For being with me when I'm sick. For turning what is meant for evil into something good!!! For being with me all these years. For Kandace and Wally and John and Will. For going to the cross for me. For laughter! For pain that you promise is not in vain. For satisfying my thirst. For providing my needs and pampering me with pleasures. For hugs! For a healthy body. For cold water! For medicine. For a phone. For the sure confidence of resurrection life!!! For parents who told me about You! For the 31 Days of Praise book. For coffee! For a rescue! For being good!! For Jenene and Ken. For the promise of completing the work You started in me. For being with me when I'm with others. For deodorant. For the woman you gave me as a mom, Verna, Mom. For understanding landlords and maintenance people. For sadness that drives me to YOU! For a cell phone. For letting me pour out my complaints to You. For Arizona sunsets. For a job that allows me to be home with my boys when their home. For Connor and Ryland!!! For giving me Your Spirit! For the man you gave me as a dad, Bob, Dad. For the opportunity to help someone else. For the color blue. For James. For candles. For a hiding place. For letting me taste of the joy of being a wife with Your heart. For a warm home. For understanding me. For shoes that fit. For B.J. For being gentle. For April. For Eileen. For Frank. For a kind boss and co-workers. For that day on the floor in the kitchen. For a car that works. For helping me out of pits!!! For air conditioning. For a hot shower. For John and Lorna. For Internet access. For putting LOVE in my heart. For a pencil and paper. For a washer and dryer that work. For hands. For the promise to conform me to the image of Your Son. For the Streams in the Desert book. For watermelon. For dentists. For health insurance. For lights and a dishwasher. For quiet moments. For feet. For getting to tell someone else about Jesus! For airfreshner. For Bailey. For Jackson. For scorpions. For candles. For peace in the midst of pain....

I could go on and on Lord. It is good to give you thanks!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Not left to survive alone

2009-10-15T08:21:00.000-07:00

I'm in an intense time of testing right now. And the struggle to survive this test is really a struggle to continue believing God, trusting and worshipping my Savior... knowing I'm not alone.

I was reading through Genesis 16-17, concerning God's promise to Abraham and Sarah and their attempt to make His promise come true in a way they could understand (giving Hagar to Abraham to produce Ishmael). I asked the Lord, "What do you want me to do after reading this?" No flashes of lighting, no tangible thing to do, just, "Be patient. Believe my promises will come to pass even if you don't see it."

"Okay. But what is your promise to me Lord?" I questioned.

Then a couple hours later I opened up Amy Carmichael's "Edges of His Ways" and read today's note. Here's an excerpt:

Hebrews 13:5: I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Many years ago someone told me that "forsake" is a compound of three words in the Greek, "leave behind in." It conveys the thought of leaving comrades exposed to peril in the conflict, or forsaking them in some crisis of danger. Westcott interprets this verse, "I will in no wise desert you or leave you alone in the field of contest, or in a position of suffering; I will in no wise let go- loose hold- My sustaining grasp."

This promise cannot fail. Let us stand upon it, and rejoice in it...

So there's my promise: Jesus will never leave me behind in this time of testing!

I was so excited to receive this for sure answer to my question that I went and looked up Hebrews 13:5 in the Strong's at Blue Letter Bible and found it really is true. Forsake means:

abandon, desert

a) leave in straits, leave helpless

b) totally abandoned, utterly forsaken

2) to leave behind among, to leave surviving

Jesus will not leave us who have put our trust in Him. He won't abandon or desert us. He won't leave us in the straits we got ourselves in, or find ourselves in. He won't leave us helpless. He won't leave us behind among the cares, fears, accusations, and depravity of this world. He doesn't say He'll take us out of them, but He won't leave us to survive it alone! Oh HOPE! Fresh air! Light! Thank You Jesus!

And not only that but the word leave in that verse holds to me an even more dear meaning:

1) to send back, relax, loosen

2) to give up, omit, calm

3) to leave, not to uphold, to let sink

Our Living Lord (though unseen by us- yet aren't we blessed that we hold on believing having never seen) will not only not leave us in the trials of life to survive, He also won't send us back or give up on us when we fail. Like Peter, He won't let us sink when we take our eyes off of Him and find ourselves sinking in the sea of the difficulty. We may begin to sink, but he will not let us sink. All we must do is cry out, "Save me Lord!"

Oh this is a promise we can all stand on! It is my promise! Though like Abraham I may find myself waiting to see it come to pass. It will! He has promised, so whether I see or not, I can say, "The Lord is not going to send me back though I've failed. He is not going to let me sink, though I feel like I'm going to drown. He is with me though I don't see Him. He hasn't left me to endure this trial alone, to survive the best I can. He walks with me through this dark valley. I will believe though I do not see!"

Thank you sweet Savior!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

I'm writing this down so I don't forget it!

2009-09-20T10:16:00.000-07:00

From a teaching my friend gave me on CD from her pastor:

Jesus' life was tough, by any measure. When He was born, His own king wanted to kill Him. When He began His ministry, His family called Him a nut case. His countrymen scoffed at Him. His closest friends ended up denying they even knew Him. He was God in the flesh and yet people called Him a blasphemer. He came to heal the hurting, but was despised by the very people He had helped.

He came to save men from death, but was put to death by the very men He came to save. I mean, when you consider whatever hurts you've gone through in your life; when you struggle with the injustice of having loved well, and yet having received in return being taken advantage of, ridiculed, scoffed, hurt, maybe even down right abused, before you panic, before you run, before you strike out in anger, or recoil in fear, fix your eyes on Jesus...

How do you learn to love like Jesus loved? How do you keep from loosing heart and growing weary in the face of your opposition? Whatever cross you've had to endure. You fix your eyes on Him and not on your hurt.

What will you see when you do that? Well you will see that Jesus, God's only Son, out of obedience to the Father and love for you and me, emptied Himself. He willingly did it. And He became a man in order to save man. But even that gracious act of selflessness, seemed to have gone unrewarded. Cause He was laughed at. Mocked. Ridiculed. Misunderstood. Painfully scorned. And even in those final hours when God the Father could have done something, He didn't... help His Son. Just think of Jesus in the garden praying. A disciple fell asleep. Another became a traitor. A huge mob appears out of nowhere, dragging Him off to Pilate's courtroom... He stood before them naked, His blood mixed with their spit, streaming down His face. And then came Calvary...

You see Him there? Hebrews 12 said, "Picture Him there..." so, so do you see Him there? Hanging from that tree? And here's my point: As you watch Him there, you need to call to mind the deepest disappointment of your life. The greatest hurt that has been perpetrated against you. Whatever the deepest loss you've ever had. Call it to mind. Maybe you staked everything on what you thought was the right thing... the recovery from cancer, the birth of a healthy baby, the renewal of your marriage... But it seems as though everything has turned out wrong. The cancer killed in spite of your prayers. The baby was born with a complication. You got served divorce papers. He went out on you... I'm just sayin' think of Calvary in those terms...

See everybody surrounding the cross that day they wanted a miracle too. Including the women who followed Jesus all the way to the cross. The disciples who huddled in the shadows. Even one of the thieves wanted a miracle. The spectators in the crowd that day shouted, "Come down from cross... and, and, we'll believe you then!" But there was no rescue, there was no miracle. Only a shout of agony that rumbled across the heavens... as Jesus, His body wracked with pain said, "Why have you forsaken Me?!" It seemed in the moment that the Father had turned His back, and that the crowds got their wish. That the religious leaders won the day. And the gravest injustice ever perpetrated in our world, was perpetrated. Cause in that moment everything that was wrong about our world seemed to triumph over the ONLY thing about our world that was good. It seemed such a tragedy in fact, that the Bible says, nature itself convulsed... remember the ground shook like and earthquake. Tombs cracked open. The solar system shuddered. The sun hid. The sky went black in mid day, and yet, please listen to Jesus' response to all that mess, "Father, forgive them. They don't know what they are doing." We're talking more than a slap in the face. More than a stolen t-shirt. Jesus was nailed to a cross, and yet even then His love shone through.

And remember the charges brought against Jesus, unlike the charges brought against you and I, were false....

So show Him your wound. Just make sure you notice His.

Betsy Tenboom was right, "If you want to love like Jesus loved, don't look at your own wounds only, you look to Jesus."

"For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps..." 1 Peter 2:21

Isaiah 51:3

Thoughts from Superman

2009-09-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

My boys are watching the new (a few years old) Superman Returns movie this morning. I happened to walk past in the scene where Superman is rescuing Lois Lane, her son and fiance from drowning in a sinking boat. Lois' fiance is holding an unconcious Lois and her son and Superman is holding the fiance's hand. Superman asks him, "You got them?" He looks to be sure, "Yea." And then Superman lets go of the boat that he had pulled from the depths which they were in.

The boat falls into the sea and there is Superman holding the man's arm as his little would-be family is clinging to him.

I thought, "That's sort of the way it is spiritually. God has entrusted the leadership, protector, provider role to the man of the house. He's to display God's heroic character in self-sacrificingly doing what's best for his wife and children. Yet, he is not able to rescue them from the terrors and troubles this life brings. He needs the real Superman, Jesus, the Christ. Apart from Christ, any of our men, though charged with the responsibility of rescuing us and our children, will fail. But if they are clinging to the Mighty Arm of Jesus, we can trust we are in good hands. For that matter, even if our husband's aren't clinging to the Rescuer of rescuers, we can. He is mighty, mightier than our dreamed up Superman.

Oh Lord Jesus, rescue our husbands! They cannot do what only You can! Reveal Your mighty Arm to them. Give them the courage to take Your hand and not try to do it all in their own strength.

Isaiah 51:3

Precious few words

2009-09-10T06:47:00.000-07:00

She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction]. - Proverbs 31:26 Amplified Bible

I was reading today's reading from Streams in the Desert this morning. Every word was the desire of my heart, but this sentence really grabbed me:

In this condition, our entire being lies perfectly still under the hand of God; every power and ability of the mind, will, and heart are at last submissive; a quietness of eternity settles into the entire soul; and finally, the mouth becomes quiet, having only a few words to say, and stops crying out the words Christ quoted on the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Ps.22:1)

The mouth becomes quiet, having only a few words to say. Immediately I thought of Proverbs 31:26. This woman, found by God, created in Christ, her mouth has become quiet, having only a few words to say. Most of her life is characterized by what she does, not what she says, so that when she does open her mouth, it's noted. The Proverb isn't talking about her words all throughout it's verses. If it did there'd be no need to say, "She opens her mouth..." But the fact that there is a verse dedicated to preciousness of what she says signifies it's rareness. Mostly, she's quiet. Quietly fearing God, not man, and doing what the Lover of her soul compels her to do in watching over her household.

I want to be that woman! I like to talk. I like to write. I like words. Period. Oh that my life would be characterized by a quiet mouth who speaks few words, and that those few words would be precious wisdom and kindness.

Make me that woman Lord! Quietly resting in your soveriegnty over my life, and speaking precious few wordds.

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Meditations on Nothing but the Blood of Jesus

2009-09-02T21:18:00.000-07:00

Tonight I sang, "What can wash away my sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus... Oh precious is the flow that makes me white as snow. No other fount I know. Nothing but the blood of Jesus."

So much in those words. In times past the celebration of the fact that it's Jesus' blood, not my "blood,sweat and tears", but Jesus blood and His alone that can wash away my sins floods my soul. At other times, rest in the simpleness of it being Jesus plus NOTHING, which makes me right in God's eyes, fills me with peace. But tonight I was compelled while I sang. An argument against all accusations of being legalistic or too idealistic, or too extreme in my convictions filled me.

My heart was shouting, "It's too precious! His blood is too precious! I can't just flippantly do what I desire without any regard to what God says or take some of God's ways and leave behind the others that make me feel uncomfortable or restrained. Jesus' blood is too precious! I can't wink at sin or laugh at it or cozy up next to it... Jesus died for it. Don't you realize NOTHING but the blood of Jesus can wash away my sin!? It takes blood, precious blood, blood from the only pure, perfect, loving, kind One. It cost too much to just do whatever I want to do. It's not that I am trying to earn His favor, it's that He has suffered so much and shown me so much favor... how could I walk all over His grace and sacrifice like that?! The answer to why I do what I do or don't do what I don't do is, 'Jesus suffered, bled and died a cruel death for you and me... that's why!' "

There's seems to be a disconnect about works vs. faith when it comes to salvation. But if I just focus on the road of suffering Jesus took up to save me, all of those confusing arguments fall apart. The truth is NOTHING but the blood of Jesus can wash away my sins, therefore I'll never be able to walk through this life indulging my flesh and making excuses for my sin... there's too much precious, holy, blood that has been spilled to wash me clean of all those ways.

I can't wink at. I can't be entertained by it. I can't approve of those who practice it. I can only soberly stand on the truth that those ways cost Jesus spit in His face, a beard violently pulled out, gruesome tears of flesh all over His body, mockery amidst cardiopulmonary explosion, terrors of pain, and most of all the rejection from His Father; all while His precious blood flowed to save you and me.

When I sang "What can wash away my sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus!" tonight, I declared why I can't live like my flesh desires. I am not my own. A heavy price was paid for me. It's that expensive grace which saves me. And it's that freely poured out grace which compels me to flee youthful lusts and obey the ways of God. I don't want to mock the blood of Jesus. I don't want to trample under foot His precious blood while I walk towards the fleeting pleasures of what He has declared as sin.

"What can wash away my sins?" isn't just a catchy old gospel hymn. It's the self-sacrificing call of Love on my life to live out the holiness purchased for me. It's a cause to be grieved with God over sin, not to poopoo it. It's a cause to intercede for those in sin and to cover it with self-sacrificing love. Love that would suffer to speak truth and impart grace. It's the price tag on my life.

So, friends, we can now—without hesitation—walk right up to God, into "the Holy Place." Jesus has cleared the way by the blood of his sacrifice, acting as our priest before God. The "curtain" into God's presence is his body. So let's do it—full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.

If we give up and turn our backs on all we've learned, all we've been given, all the truth we now know, we repudiate Christ's sacrifice and are left on our own to face the Judgment—and a mighty fierce judgment it will be! If the penalty for breaking the law of Moses is physical death, what do you think will happen if you turn on God's Son, spit on the sacrifice that made you whole, and insult this most gracious Spirit? This is no light matter. - Hebrews 10:19-31 The Message paraphrase

He loves us too much! He paid too much! I don't want to insult His sacrifice. Oh let me live in that pure fear of God. Not fear of punishment, but fear of trampling on His grace. Not fear of not being good enough. Fear of not responding with my life to His goodness.

Isaiah 51:3

Calling to mind

2009-08-16T10:08:00.001-07:00

It's Sunday morning. Things aren't picture perfect here, as I'm sure they aren't in your house either. Honestly I'm fighting to squeak out little prayers of, "Help me Lord." and "Give me a drink of your living water Lord... I'm so thirsty!"

That Still Small Voice reminded me to call to mind the hope I once shared with others, the vision and promises God had planted in my heart before this storm hit my life.

So I went back to the archives of my old Timothy Moms blog. I went there because as I watched my boys this morning I felt empty as to what to teach them. If I'm to teach them diligently God's word when I sit in my house, and walk by the way, when I lie down and when I wake up, my question is, "What if I have no idea what to teach? What if no message for them is pressing on my heart?" So I prayed, "What do I teach them Lord?" And then I went to Timothy Moms.

Here's what I read:

I realize that just as it was for those who came before Jesus it is for me now. For i wait too. I wait and labor and pray and hope in God's sure promises for Christ to be formed in my little children. Sometimes it seems hopeless. Sometimes it seems so far away. Sometimes it seems impossible. But my hope must be set not on what I see or hear in my boys but on God's promise which does not fail. And just as Mary resigned herself to be the vessel through which God would deliver His Son in the flesh, though she would be rejected and in much pain, I must surrender myself to believing that with my God all things are possible... even the forming of Christ in my little boys is possible.

Oh Living water! Thank you Lord for refreshing my soul with a rememberance from last Christmas. Thank you for reminding me to wait upon You. Sometimes my diligent teaching will be quiet waiting on YOU. And even like this morning, as I wait on You, You'll send me those teachable moments. Please impress on my sons' hearts this morning Your word to put away anger and to instead be kind to one another, forgiving one another, just as God has been kind to us and has forgiven us through Christ. Let your word be a school master to them this morning, leading them to faith in Christ, making them wise for salvation thru Christ.

All your children shall be taught by the Lord, And great shall be the peace of your children... This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, And their righteousness is from Me," Says the Lord. Isaiah 54:13,17

Waiting,

Isaiah 51:3

What do I know of Holy

2009-08-14T23:28:00.000-07:00

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
- Addison Road

Let me get the slightest glimpse to bring me to my knees again You who are Holy!

Isaiah 51:3

Praise for today

2009-08-06T06:22:00.000-07:00

I praise You for Your sovereignty over the broad events of my life and over the details. With You, nothing is accidental, nothing is incidental, and no experience is wasted. You hold in Your own power my breath of life and all my distiny. And every trial that You allow to happen is a platform on which You reveal Yourself, showing Your love and power, both to me and to others looking on. Thank You that I can move into the future nondefensively, with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead, for You hold the future and You will always be with me, even to my old age... and through all eternity. - from 31 Days of Praise by Ruth Myers

Isaiah 51:3

My Jehoshaphat Moment

2009-08-05T21:31:00.000-07:00

"Then some came and told Jehoshaphat, saying, 'A great multitude is coming against you...'"

"And Jehoshaphat feared, and set himself to seek the LORD..."

"Then Jehoshaphat stood...and said, ' O LORD God of our fathers, are You not God in heaven, and do You not rule over all the kingdoms of the nations, and in Your hand is there not power and might, so that no one is able to withstand You?"

"For we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You."

"And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed those who should sing to the LORD, and who should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army and were saying:

Praise the LORD, for His mercy endures forever."

"Now when they began to sing and to praise, the LORD set ambushes against the people... who had come against Judah, and they were defeated."

From 2 Chronicles 20

Now's my chance. Now's my chance like Jehoshaphat to praise God BEFORE I see what to do or how to do it or how God's gonna work in this situation in my life which appears like a great multitude against me; a multitude against whom I have no power.

Now's my Jehoshaphat moment. It's beyond me. It's too much for me. I can't stand. But I can proclaim praises. I can physically open my mouth and say, "Praise the LORD for His mercy endures forever!" I can say, "I don't know what to do, but my eyes are on You Lord!" I can say, "You are God... no one is able to withstand YOU!" I can declare, "You will work this situation together for my good as one who loves You (not that my love is anything but a response to Your love for me), and is called according to Your purpose to conform me to the image of Your Son."

So that's what I'm doing.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not brave and strong. I'm afraid, like Jehoshaphat. I'm broken. I'm overwhelmed with what is against me. I'm trembling. But now's my chance to let my Mountain-Moving Savior be seen. He wouldn't be seen if there were no mountains. He wouldn't be my Deliverer if there were no terrible, drowning waves to rescue me from.

So here's what I'm going to sing... wanna join me?

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is
Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen
King...Jesus

Isaiah 51:3

My hope is unchanged

2009-06-28T16:50:00.000-07:00

Hi friends. Just wanted to let you all know real quick that I still won't be able to get online for a few weeks more. But I wanted to share this song that has been the lyrics of my heart these past few weeks.

Christ Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever!

Hope to be back to soon.

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Taking a break

2009-06-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

Hey friends.

I'm going to be without a computer for awhile and so I won't be posting except for maybe on a rare occasion for probably the next month.

Lots of changes going on in my world. Mountains falling into the sea, earth crumbling beneath my feet, but my God is a sure refuge and He doesn't crumble!

I'll explain more later as the Lord leads, but for now let me just pass onto you a section of scripture that really ministered to me this morning and ask you to pray for me and my household as the Lord may lead you.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

See you soon! Keep your eyes on eternity ladies!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

The Only Hope

2009-06-11T22:03:00.000-07:00

The Only Hope - Bebo Norman

I want to run, it's my nature to run
And I want to fight, it's my nature to fight
And I want to live, but you tell me to die
I have resolved that I'm much better off
In your hands than mine

I'm begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to take my life from me
I want a crumb, but you are a feast
I want a song, but you are a symphony
I want a star, but your a galaxy

And I have resolved that I'm much better off
In what you have for me
I'm begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to take my life from me
So tell me you won't let go
Tell me you won't let go
Cause you are the only hope for me
Take my life from me, It's the only hope for me
Take my life from me, It's the only hope for me
And I'll never want for more
I'll never want for more

I'm begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to take my life from me
So tell me you won't let go
Tell me you won't let go
Cause your the only hope for me
You're the only hope for me
Yeah, your the only hope for me

Bebo wrote that song for me!!!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

From Elizabeth Elliot

2009-06-11T06:30:00.000-07:00

Responsible to Praise

The centurion, seeing what had happened, praised God and said, "Surely this was a righteous man." - Luke 23:47

We cannot always or even often control events, but we can control how we respond to them. When things happen which dismay or appall, we ought to look to God for his meaning, remembering that He is not taken by surprise nor can his purposes be thwarted in the end. What God looks for is those who will worship Him. Our look of inquiring trust glorifies Him.

One of the witnesses to the crucifixion was a military officer to whom the scene was surely not a novelty. He had seen plenty of criminals nailed up. But the response of this Man who hung there was of such an utterly different nature than that of the others that the centurion knew at once that He was innocent. His own response then, rather than one of despair that such a terrible injustice should take place, or of anger at God who might have prevented it, was praise (Lk 23:47 NEB).

This is our first responsibility: to glorify God. In the face of life's worst reversals and tragedies, the response of a faithful Christian is praise--not for the wrong itself certainly, but for who God is and for the ultimate assurance that there is a pattern being worked out for those who love Him.

From Elizabeth Elliot's A Lamp For My Feet.

Oh may the pattern of His innocence be worked out in me!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Josiah Conder, 1836

2009-06-09T07:10:00.000-07:00

" 'Tis not that I did choose Thee,
For Lord, that could not be;
This heart would still refuse Thee,
Hadst Thou not chosen me...

My heart owns none before Thee,
For Thy rich grace I thirst;
This knowing, if I love Thee,
Thou must have loved me first."

Oh can you hear my heart!? I love You Jesus, but only because You loved me first!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Gaining a heart of intercession while you bear your cross

2009-06-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

It is rightly said that for us to take up our cross and follow Jesus is not to endure trials in and of themselves, but rather a WILLING act on our part to obey and glorify God in bearing the offenses, rejection and wrongs of others with intercessions for them.

As I've been faced with a familiar cross lately, God is helping me to see how to bear my cross not with a, "Poor me I'm a rejected Christian..." attitude, but rather with a heart of intercession for the ones that I love.

He's been teaching me to remember that unlike Jesus, when I take up my cross and follow Him I can't say I have not sinned or caused damage to others because of my sin. Jesus' heart of intercession is totally a pure expression of who He is as God. My heart of intercession comes from Jesus dwelling in me and is helped by remembering that my sin required not only the death and suffering of Jesus while He interceded for me and ever lives to do so, but also that my sin has damaged others in this life and that I myself have been like the ones I am hurt by.

"And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others."
-Ephesians 2:1-3 NKJV

When we sin we aren't the only ones to experience the repercussions of that sin. It impacts those around us like a rock thrown in a lake. Seeing this doesn't make me drown in condemnation, it makes me get on my knees and labor in intercession for the ones in my life that I see going astray, yet realize my own sinful life has in some way contributed to where they are and why they don't see Jesus for who He is.

Nehemiah and Ezra were used to lead an effort to rebuild the city of God and the wall around Jerusalem and their motivation was to no longer be a reproach to the surrounding nations. They were aware that they, as God's people, were responsible for how the pagan nations around them viewed their God. They took responsibility for their sinful ways and had a heart that desired others to see the glory of God in their lives (Nehemiah 2:17).

This leads to the ultimate motivation He's developing in me for interceding for others: Desiring nothing more than for God to be glorified in my life.

When I want others to see Christ through my life more than anything else, more even than I want them to be "converted", my heart is pure... it's not polluted with a less than pure motivation. Yes, I want them to be saved! Yes, I want them to see their desperate need for Jesus! But even more than that I want my Jesus to have the glory He deserves in my life in their eyes. Whether on their part they reject the glory that shines on them, or bend their knees to it... only let Jesus be magnified and exemplified in me! This pure desire in me causes me to plead all the more that God would do a work on behalf of these that I love, because I want Him to have glory... even if they reject it!

If, on the other hand, my motivation is only that they be saved and not first that God be glorified, I'm going to get tangled up in trying to appeal to their flesh... trying to make God cool, trying to make Him relevant and digestible. I cheapen the mystery of God when my motivation is a person's conversion rather than God being magnified on the earth. It's seeing God for Who He really is (that is seeing His glory) which brings about true repentance and saving faith. This is why the greatest command is that we love God with all that we are FIRST and then SECOND that we love our neighbor as ourselves. Loving God with all our being, desiring to bring Him glory with our lives, does not abandon the souls of those we love around us... for God is THE intercessor. Loving God with all our being, desiring to magnify Him causes us to not condemn those around us but intercede for them.

"Jesus spoke these words, lifted up His eyes to heaven, and said: "Father, the hour has come. Glorify Your Son, that Your Son also may glorify You, as You have given Him authority over all flesh, that He should give eternal life to as many as You have given Him. And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given Me to do." -John 17:1-4 NKJV

This is the trail the Author of our faith has blazed for us. As He lives in us, this is what He is always compelling us towards: Glorifying the Son in our lives that we might bring the Father glory.

And its to that end that in the process eternal life might be given to those God has given us to take up our crosses for. For after He prayed for the Father to be glorified in Him He said, "And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent."

Desiring to bring God glory with our lives results in those around us being interceded for, and results in God revealing Himself through our broken, earthen vessels to them. What an amazing truth! God chooses to quicken others to eternal life in knowing Who He is and knowing Jesus Christ and He chooses to bring about this knowing through us taking up our crosses and following Jesus.

Oh Father, glorify YOURSELF in my life that I might magnify You in this day, in this home, to my husband and children and around every person I am around, that they might get just a glimpse of Who You are and Who Christ is. Somehow God do this. You are able, I am not! You are the God who gives life to the dead and calls things which are not as though they are. Give life to this body of death that I dwell in. Call me and make me like my Lord Jesus that those around me might smell the aroma of Your presence. Even if it means my crushing. Even if it means my rejection. Magnify Yourself in me. Bring light to those You've given me that they might be led to YOU!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

When everything falls apart

2009-06-03T10:49:00.000-07:00

God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling. Selah There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God, The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High. God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God shall help her, just at the break of dawn. - Psalm 46

There are good things, the earth, the mountains, waters, etc., all good things that God made. Good things that are the substance of our environment. Good things that shouldn't fall otherwise we will perish. You can't hang around when the earth is removed. You can't go about daily life when mountains are earthquaked into the sea. But even though those things God made are good, and to be enjoyed, there comes a day when even those things are removed. And when that happens only what is hiding in God and dependent upon Him for a place to stand will survive.

When your health perishes. When your marriage crumbles beneath your feet though on your part you've done all you know to do before God to keep it standing. When your children rise up against you. When your income is no longer coming in. When mountains, the earth, those things that are good, made by God and necessary for a healthy existence on this planet perish, your real strength has opportunity to shine and is discovered. God gets to shine and be discovered.

For there is a faithful, steady stream of life giving waters which supply the city of God... the place where God dwells in you and me. God is in the midst of us and we shall not be moved though our health, our marriages, our friendships, our family relationships, our jobs... though they all crumble, God will help us. He will rescue us just at the break of dawn! Just in time! Don't give up... He's coming soon! Bring Him glory with me!!!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

I'd be lying if...

2009-06-02T16:50:00.002-07:00

...I only posted my "happy face" posts and didn't let you know when I'm struggling. Actually, I feel like I struggle more than I'm "happy" which is probably a testament to my immaturity in Christ. Nevertheless I'm compelled to share what lifted my head amidst the tears today.

"But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." -Hebrews 11:6

Did you catch that last part: God is a rewarder! He gives rewards to those who diligently seek Him! Do you believe this?

The test of whether I believe this is now. Now, while all I can seem to do is cry. Now, while the one I seek to win to Christ by the pouring out of my life is harder than ever to Him. Now, while my kids require so much constant attention and training and my body is exhausted. Now, while I'm desperate to be held and led in Christ. Do I believe that God is my rewarder?

My motivation is unveiled. If I can "recall the former days in which , after I was illuminated, I endured a great struggle with sufferings," (Hebrews 10:32), the true motivation of all I do, of why I remain faithful, of why I keep reaching out, of why I keep speaking the truth to my kids, of why I keep going on alone comes to light. It's because I seek God to reward me.

This isn't earning my salvation. This isn't what I speak of. I'm talking about my motivation. What is keeping me here. What is keeping me going forward. What is giving me hope. I already know I can do nothing to rescue myself from the destruction my flesh and all creation is heading for. Jesus did that for me. He took the heat for me. He is my answer to all that condemns me. But what keeps me desiring to obey His will when nothing seems to be going the way I thought it would when His will is obeyed? It's Jesus saying undeservedly to me, "Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in the small things, now I give you greater things to enter into. Enter into the joy of your Lord." (my paraphrase version).

Oh how I thirst for His reward and that is why I know my life is pleasing to Him. Because that's what faith is: believing that God is, and that He is a rewarder, not a punisher, not a criticizer, not a scrutinizer, a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

As I read through the messages spoken to me by the great witnesses in Hebrews 11, I'm most impacted by those who are un-named in verses 35-39:

"... out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. Women received their dead raised to life again. And others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection. Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented-- of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the earth. And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive the promise... -Hebrews 11: 34-39 NKJV

I have not seen some glorious, physical miracle worked through my life. My calling is not for abundance but for "trials of mockings", wanderings, for "not accepting deliverance." As Watchman Nee wrote, piercing me with conviction:

"So there is your problem. You feel that were you to follow in that other brother's steps- were you, shall we say, to consecrate yourself enough for the blessing but not enough for the trouble, enough for the Lord to use you but not enough for him to shut you up- all would be perfectly all right. But would it? You know quite well that it would not."

My testimony of faith, the road by which I come to God believing that His is and that He is my rewarder as I diligently seek Him is one of being consecrated for "the trouble" and for the Lord to "shut me up."

Sometimes I fall for the lie that because the race God has called me to is one of trouble and quietness, that I am not being used by God and that He has rejected me. But the truth is my Lord has sent me a message through the great cloud of witnesses, that He calls some to a race of faith through which they see blessing, deliverance from lions, birth rather than barrenness, etc. and some He calls to a race of faith through which they see trial after trial, and rejection, loneliness, prison, and "shutting up."

I've forgotten in my downcastness these past weeks that God is my rewarder. It may defy all logic. All reason. Nevertheless it's true. He is the rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Maybe you're downcast today. Put your hope in God with me. Not in your situation. In God. Don't look for rewards here. Look for them in God. Press on with me believing until He comes that He is going to reward us, though we know we don't deserve it. He isn't rewarding us because we've got it all figured out. He isn't rewarding us because we did everything right. He's rewarding us because we come to Him diligently and we simply believe He rewards that.

Oh God of heaven. Father of my Lord Jesus. You know me! You knew me before I ever tasted of who You are. Be the lifter of my head. Be the lifter of my sisters' heads. Fix our eyes on Jesus. I cast down the lie in Jesus' name that says that because things aren't the way we thought they'd be that You are punishing us or rejecting us and that You are critical of us. You are the rewarder of those who diligently seek You. We must come to You believing that. Help us to be believing in Your mercy and grace, not unbelieving.

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Just letting you know

2009-05-30T09:00:00.000-07:00

Hey my fellow Found women!

I just wanted to let you know some things.

1. I fully intend to finish up a series I started on Matters of the Home. Not sure when I'll get to sit down and post, but, Lord willing, soon.

2. Before I do that though I really want to finish the study through the Proverbs 31 woman I started into last year at Sunny's blog, A Wife's Biblical Submission.

3. I've been occupied giving my full attention to teaching my boys, prayer, loving my man, and wrestling through some things with the Lord.

4. I'm really excited about a new book I just got to read, review and giveaway by Jill Savage- Real Moms... Real Jesus. She's given me 3 copies to giveaway and I can't wait to read it so I can do just that. I plan to do that giveaway in June. So look for it. Go over to Jill's blog and check it out.

So that's just some things brewing with me... Lots to share as the Lord leads.

I also want to thank you for your always encouraging comments and prayers. You are all such a blessing!

Have a worship-filled weekend!

May's giveaway winnner is...

2009-05-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

Beth in NC.

Thanks for leaving all your sweet comments about your moms ladies. It really is so important for us to take time to honor our mommas :)

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

One body

2009-05-24T08:23:00.000-07:00

"The life of Christ in me will gravitate to the life of Christ in others." - Watchman Nee, The Normal Christian Life

One of the things I've found that has changed in me in the past three plus years is my longing to find other "foreigners" in this land who speak the same language of heaven Christ speaks in me. I LOOOOONNNNG for them! I realize, I'm not only not my own because Christ has bought me with His blood, and His love compels me to do what I do, but I'm also not my own because I am just one part of His body. I need the rest of the body. I long for their fellowship in Christ. I gravitate toward the life of Christ in them.

Oftentimes, when, ashamedly, I've held back from bringing up Christ in a conversation while getting to know a new person, only to find out later that they too worship my Lord and that there is a real "attraction" between us because of Him, I realize that I need to (we all need to) let our real "identity" as citizens of heaven be known in our relations to others. For there are parts of the body "out there" that are built up when we speak heaven with them. And if they are not of heaven, they may thirst for it when we let a taste of His life pour out of us.

Going to church is not just going to church for me anymore. It's a brief reminder I get each week that we are one in Christ. We are a new kingdom. We are not of this world. And though we go our separate ways and shine and salt wherever we are, we will always gravitate towards the life of Christ in others, making those who do not know Him thirst, and making those who are of Him edified.

I realize that I need to be "out there" in the world but not of it so that my "gravitation" towards Christ in others is experienced. If I'm always with other Christians there will be no gravitating and there will be no allure in the world for Christ. But I also must not always be "out there". In fact, I can't always just be "out there". It's just the way it is when you are of one body... you will always desire to come together.

Are you gravitating towards Christ in others today?

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Yes we're born this way

2009-05-23T08:46:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! I just watched this at my friend's blog for the first time... had to share it.

This little lady knows what she's saying! She's using body language. I heard her say "momma." And that sweet daddy... laughing and listening.

Note to all our husbands/dads/brothers, etc.: We just need to you to smile and listen!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

He calls me what I am not as though I am

2009-05-20T11:55:00.000-07:00

I'm re-reading "The Normal Christian Life" by Watchman Nee. HIGHLY recommend it!

Mr. Nee expounds on the foundations of our faith and how we live by faith in Christ.

It's wonderful! Oh the depths and the riches of God's gift to us in Christ... its more than we know or could ever fully live out, yet we go through this life to know Him more and to be transformed into His very image.

I ran into Mr. Nee's reference to Romans 4:17 while reading and had to stop and just chew on it for awhile.

"...God, who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did." -Romans 4:17

This is the whole story of how we live by faith.

God, who gives life to the dead, who called Abraham a father while he was practically dead... this same God calls those things which do not exist as though they did. He calls me righteous, though I am not. He calls me spotless, though I am not. He calls me a woman of valor, though I am not. And He's not just playing make-believe. What He calls us He MAKES US! He called nearly-dead Abraham a father while he had no children and in the right time Sarah and Abraham conceived Isaac.

It's not pretending I am what I'm not as a Christian. It's seeing that I am in Christ.

My sins are wiped away by His blood and my sin-producing factory (my flesh) died with Him at the cross. I died. I don't live anymore. Whatever I may do in my flesh is just death. But even greater than this dead woman I am is the LIVE woman I am in Christ.

Christ rose from the dead and I rose with Him, cause I am in Him. My life is hidden in Christ in God. All that is in the risen Christ is mine. And all that is in Him is not unattainable for not only am I in Christ, but Christ is in me! He lives out His very life in my soon to perish body. He makes me righteous. He makes spotless. He makes me a woman of valor. He makes me love with agape. He makes me intercede boldly. He makes me speak the truth in humility. And on and on, just as with Abraham, IN HIS PERFECT TIME, He produces in me exactly what He calls me in Christ.

It is my hope and my joy that my God calls me to the impossible, and the very fact that HE is doing the calling makes it sure that HE will also do the producing of that new-impossible life in me. I am not anything He calls me to be apart from Him who makes it so!

So I wait. I worship. I thank Him for His promise. I repent and cry out for help in my unbelief. And then I carry on listening and worshipping and praying and praising and waiting and lo and behold I see Him producing fruit in my life I am unable to bear on my own!

What a mystery, what a wonder!

It's not by sight dear ones. It's not by working hard. It's not by trying to make it happen. That only creates Ishmaels (I have a few of those). It's by believing that though we are barren spiritually, and dead to the ability to be who God calls us to be, in Christ we are all of who He calls us to be. Just in believing that, in thinking on Christ, in praising Him, in prayer to Him, in searching the word for Him, in revelation of Him, we are transformed into what we are not!

Oh Father, make us to know increasingly who we are in Christ. We want to know Christ! We want to be conformed to His image. Help us to believe that You will do it!

Isaiah 51:3

On the fear of God and the sea

2009-05-16T08:20:00.000-07:00

" 'Do you not fear Me?' says the LORD. 'Will you not tremble at My presence, who have placed the sand as the bound of the sea, by a perpetual decree, that it cannot pass beyond it? And though its waves toss to and fro, yet they cannot prevail; though they roar, yet they cannot pass over it.'... Behold, a people comes from the north country, and a great nation will be raised from the farthest parts of the earth. They will lay hold on bow and spear; they are cruel and have no mercy; their voice roars like the sea; and they ride on horses, as men of war set in array against you, O daughter of Zion." (Jeremiah 5:22, 6:22-23)

I've been reading through Jeremiah. Whoa! Or I should say Woe! Woe is me, for I am a woman who has feared man not God. The heartcry of the true and Living God in Jeremiah is:

Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the LORD. For he shall be like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see when good comes, but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a a salt land which is not inhabited.

Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, and whose hope is the LORD. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yeilding fruit. (Jeremiah 17:5-8)

It is not some great wall I've built to keep the waves of sin and the enemy from overtaking me that keep them out... it is simply the Word of God. Just as it is not a mighty wall that man built which keeps the oceans from over taking the land, but simply the Word of God.

Think about that. Think about the beach. It's sand there. Flat, smooth, sand. There is nothing keeping the oceans back. There is nothing to keep the roaring waves from engulfing the coast except the word of the Unseen God who says to the oceans, "Stop there, at the pitiful little grains of sand. Stop there." He is also the God who says, "Flood! Rush in! Overtake! Drown the coast!"

In my life I must not make flesh my strength. If I do, God may say, "Flood!" just to remind me that it is not my strength which keeps back the terror of the enemy and the destruction of sin in my life, but it is simply His word.

This is why I must obey His word. It's His word that is holding back the enemy and sin from dominating me. It is not self-righteousness to obey God's word to me, it's fearing Him. It's trusting Him. It's believing He keeps the oceans back by His word.

The enemy is cruel and shows no mercy. His voice roars like the sea out there while God's word holds him back. I can hear his roars and I must rest in God's word which commands him to stay where he is. I can hear his roars and I must not depart from the LORD and begin to think because I'm doing some thing I think is good or strong or honorable in the eyes of men that I am keeping the ocean of sin and the cruel enemy. I must also not think just because I see nothing seperating me (the sand) from the enemy (the ocean) that I can do whatever I want. God's word is holding destruction back from me and so I must walk in the Word. His grace and mercy has covered my sins and drowned them in the sea. I died with Him (the Word made flesh) on the cross. It's not my flesh holding the enemy back... my flesh died with Christ. I can't just do what I want... I'm dead in Christ. The only life, the only strength I have is in His life.

Oh let me walk in such fear in my stay here. There is a sea of sin and an ocean of cruel enemies ready and willing to overtake me if the God who holds them back says, "Okay." He is a patient God. He is a merciful God. He is the God who laid down His life for me. So let me not test Him. Let me not trample His grace underfoot. Let me say, "You are good and You are all that is keeping destruction from me, therefore I will trust in You and in Your instructions to me. Let the enemy roar. Let him threaten, for You who died for me have held him back."

Isaiah 51:3

May's giveaway

2009-05-12T13:39:00.000-07:00

Hey my fellow Found women! I'm sorry this month's giveaway is so late. This past 12 days have flashed by!

Anyway, in honor of mommas I'm giving away this little necklace I put together.

All you have to do to win is leave a comment on this post that honors your mom or a mom in your life.

And for you moms like me here's an awesome promise the Spirit led me to the other day:

But thus says the Lord: "Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away,
And the prey of the terrible be delivered; For I will contend with him who
contends with you, And I will save your children. -Isaiah 49:25 NKJV

I can hold tight to this one cause I have been one of the captives of the mightiness of sin, and I have been prey to the terribleness of the enemy. But GOD says He will contend with him who contends with ME!! And He will save my children!!! Amen!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

My declaration TODAY!

2009-05-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

I'm taking my sons by the hand and I am deciding to follow YOU Jesus today! Lead me!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Thinking on motherhood

2009-05-09T06:40:00.000-07:00

Mother's day approaches and I find myself prayerfully desiring to magnify Christ with my motherhood, and to finish the work He's given me to do in bringing up my sons in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I also find myself thanking God for the mother He gave me and noticing women and mothers all around me, praying that they would find their worth in Christ and thereby truly fulfill their call to nurse and train others up in His ways. And I find myself rejoicing in the beauty of adoption as I get to see my God set the fatherless in the family of my sister and her husband and watch as He makes a barren woman the happy mother of children.

Mothering is a reflection of our great God and when we walk in the grace of Christ's life working in and through us, our mothering becomes a monument built up for the glory of God.

If you are a mom, God has given you a house to build for Him.

Oh how I'm preaching to myself here!

It's not an unnoticed work when its done unto the Lord. He sees. He cares. He gently leads. Just as He gave Leah and Rachel the ministry of building the house of Israel for Him, by giving their lives to raising 12 sons, He has given you and me the ministry of building a home that reflects His glory by giving our lives to raising our kids in His ways. That's not just telling them His ways (though it is that too), but raising them IN His ways.

He's given us the ministry of bringing up children IN an environment of HIS ways. That means we must be dying to self and following Christ daily. It means we give them a home where they hear prayer and praise, wisdom and kindness from our lips and our actions. It means they see us respecting their father (whether we're married or divorced). It means they see us reaching out to others in Jesus' name, loving His word and trusting in His promise of new life.

We have such a great calling! It's great and it's by the grace of God that we get to partake of some of His story as moms!

Lately the Spirit has been speaking these things to me:

1. Don't try to extract the poison, the flesh, the "tares" from them, just pour the good, the pure milk, the clean water of God's word into them. This means I must stop fretting over every evidence of the sinful, fleshly nature I see in them, trying to pull out every weed and drop of poison, but rather I must faithfully water them with the word and bring them up in a life of God's good ways. This doesn't mean I don't discipline them, it just means I don't tailor a heavy yoke of trying to strain out every bit of flesh I see, rather I let God's law (God's word) be their teacher and boundaries. Nor does this mean that I don't care about the sinful, fleshly tendencies I see in them. It just means I cast all those cares upon the Lord, intercede for them, and trust in God's promise which is stronger than their nature.

2. Building healthy children begins with a friendship with their father. This means that just as my sons were physically born because I united myself with my husband (in the intimate bond of friendship God made for husband's and wives to enjoy), just as it was the tool through which God brought two new lives into this world, it is the tool through which He builds up healthy lives in them. And in spirit, as I intimately bond with Christ in prayer and praise, new life is in me and I am able to build up, not suck the life out of, my husband and children. More important than any specific teaching or action is that I am satisfied in Christ, that I do all I do as unto Him, and that display love and respect to my husband before my kids.

3. Whatever you want for your children, you have to be first. I think that's self-explanatory. Specifically the Spirit is leading me to lead my kids into a life of fearing God not man by conquering my own tendency to fear man. And the sure-fire way to destroy the fear of man is to preach and serve Christ. So I am praying for and looking for ways to, in my children's presence, preach Christ and serve Christ to their peers and the people I encounter in a day. One of the ways that I've begun to do this is by visiting my son at lunchtime at his school and giving thanks to God with him and his friends. He's so afraid of what his friends will think of him because he doesn't see them pray, but I pray that seeing me pray in the midst of them, without fear, will blaze a trail of confidence in God (fearing God) rather than a false confidence in man.

4. Teaching them will draw others to Christ. Jesus pointed out that He was here to feed His children (referring to Israel, specifically His 12) and when the gentiles came to receive from Him, He said things like, "Why should I give the food meant for the children to the dogs?" He wasn't being mean. He was doing the work His Father gave Him to do rather than the work that men wanted Him to do. But in doing so He wasn't merciless to those outside of the house of Israel. In fact in His commitment to teach His 12, using every encounter to set them examples and speak words that would lead and guide them, He often involved Gentiles who were saved while Christ taught His twelve through them.

I long for the people around me to know Christ, the people "out there", yet I feel restrained and powerless to reach them. God has a work for me to do even though I see a lot of work "out there" that I could do. Yet, even so, God is powerful, and in doing the work of teaching my sons His ways and setting examples for them to follow, I get to reach out to the "others" in my life. It's requiring prayer and a sensitivity to His Spirit, and a willingness to submit to His will and turn from my plans when they may not be His.

5. Keep fighting for your kids in prayer... God is! For the past several weeks I've been meeting with two other women in my area for a Moms In Touch International (MITI) meeting once a week. We get together and we pray for about an hour for our kids, they're friends, and their schools. It's awesome!

Last night, on the way to the store, I caught a piece of a speaker speaking to a conference of MITI. He talked about how his mom (the founder of MITI) faithfully clung to God's word and never let God forget about her son though he strayed from the Lord. My heart was so touched. My sons are only 6 and 4 and yet I already feel them slipping from my grasp. So then, rather than trying to cling to them, I must cling to God's word and lift them up in my hands to God, and not grow weary in interceding for them.

The speaker gave this scripture and I know it's for me to take in praying for my kids in the power of God:

...the Lord your God Himself fights for you... Deuteronomy 3:22

Lately I've grown weary, overwhelmed with what I see circumstancially, and what I know about my sinful nature. I've been hearing the accusations of the enemy, and the condemnation he throws my way, and I've cowered in weeping. But the Spirit has been a faithful friend to lift my head and remind me of the way to overcome my accuser and to help me remember the promise of God's word which is more true than what I see.

May the Lord continue to help me in my weakness, to help each of us in our desire to build up a home that brings Him glory, and to intercede for our children without loosing heart.

Happy Mother's Day mom and all you moms!

Related:

Here's that wonderful "Invisible Woman" video. I never get tired of watching it! :)

And here's the link to the message from Ty Nichols, Fern Nichols ( the founder of MITI) son.

Also, here's a link to the Moms In Touch International site.

Isaiah 51:3

VIP Note to self

2009-05-05T08:49:00.000-07:00

Remember this Sheila:

1. The blood of Jesus is enough! Yes I've sinned, and continue to live in this flesh. When Satan reminds me of my sinful nature (past present and future), just agree and remind him that Jesus died for my sins.

"For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your
forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect." 1 Peter 1:18-19

"Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him." Romans 4:7-8

2. My testimony is that God loved and saved me WHILE I WAS A SINNER AND AN ENEMY! If He loved me and saved me then, I believe it and I'll walk in it. I didn't earn it then and I can't earn it now! "Just as I have received Christ, so will I walk in Him!"

3. Don't love your life, even unto death. Don't keep analyzing yourself. Take up your cross. Live your life for the sake of others knowing Christ, and follow Jesus.

This is what happens in heaven, and this is what should happen in you Sheila if you want heaven in your heart, if you want "On earth as it is in heaven."

-from Revelation 12:11

Isaiah 51:3

Pure zeal for people

2009-04-30T22:47:00.000-07:00

"Because for Your sake I have borne reproach; Shame has covered my face. I have become a stranger to my brothers, And an alien to my mother's children; Because zeal for Your house has eaten me up, And the reproaches of those who reproach You have fallen on me." - Psalm 69:7-9

Tonight I had a conversation which evoked passion in me. It concerned sexual perversion and purity. I couldn't just have the conversation "lightly" or sarcastically or in "good humor." The fire in my belly starting pouring out my mouth. Tears, a raised voice. "I care!" I cried. "I care okay! I care about those people! It's not so much about it's wrong or breaking the law or whatever, It's about their souls! It's about that's not how God created them to be and its destroying them!" And the response was mocking and sarcasm and "Give me a break! Who cares!!!!"

At that point I got mad. I stomped away spewing about how I opened myself up and shared only to get shut down with sarcasm and mocking for actually caring.

I then ran to John. The book of John that is. I felt the Spirit leading me there to purify the zeal that was being exhibited in me. His whisper to my heart was, "When you take up your cross and follow Jesus you care about people. It's not about what's 'legal' or illegal. It's about their souls. You care so much that you will speak the truth and not respond with harshness when they are angry with you. You must care and be willing to hurt though they cling to what hurts them and despise you for caring. My pure love that cares for them beats in you Sheila. But that impurity of defending yourself must go. It has to die. Otherwise you're cutting off ears that would otherwise hear through your willingness to hurt and care in the name of Jesus."

Then He led me to this:

"Then Simon Peter drew a sword and slashed off the right ear of Malchus, the high priest's servant. But Jesus said to Peter, "Put your sword back into its sheath. Shall I not drink from the cup the Father has given me?" - John 18:10-11
NLT

"Put your sword back into its sheath Sheila! Shall the sufferings of Christ not be seen in you because of your impure zeal?"

When Christ lives in us, zeal for His house eats us up too!

His house.

You know what that is? You know what His house is?

PEOPLE!!!!

"Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's."
-1 Corinthians 6:18-20 NKJV (emphasis added by me)

A pure zeal for God's house (people) to not be defiled will be willing to bear the reproach of those who reproach God's name. If my zeal is pure, I will be willing to bear shame for the sake of desiring God's name to be glorified in the lives of people... the "house" which He chooses to dwell in.

If my zeal is not pure, like Peter, I'll be quick to cut off the ear that won't receive the passion Christ has for souls. I have cut an ear tonight. But I'm so glad that my Jesus is reaching down to put it back on tonight and heal it.

God calls us to live a life that bears the reproach others have for God's character while reaching out in truth and love for the deliverance of their souls. He calls us to have a zeal that eats us up for others! He calls us to care that people are dying in bondage to sexual perversion, lies, all kinds of subtle evil and twisted ways that are not what they were created for. He calls us to be passionate about people who He created to bear His own image... who He desires to inhabit that His glory might be displayed in their lives, and that they might have intimacy with God as they were created to. But He calls us to be willing to bear their offenses without returning offenses in our zeal.

"For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: "Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth"; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;" 1 Peter 2:21-23

"Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing." - 1 Peter 3:8-9

Search me and know me oh God! See this wicked way of cutting off ears and returning reviling for reviling in me, and rid me of it, leading me in Your everlasting way!

Isaiah 51:3

Kettle Club

2009-04-28T20:43:00.000-07:00

There once was a woman thirsty
She wanted her drink easy
Since it was hard
And she was ti-ard
She drank from the well called sleepy

(That was my first ever limerick... thank you for the fun Kristen! :())

Said thirsty woman (me), finally got so parched (since the well of sleep doesn't satisfied thirst) that she started getting desperate. Her desperation finally led her to seeking Living Water with all her heart again, rather than when it was convenient, or brought immediate satisfaction.

I've realized, once again in my following Christ, there is a waiting on the Lord, a calling, praying, seeking and searching that proves our true thirst for righteousness.

Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:12-13

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, For they shall be filled.- Matthew 5:6

When you're REALLY thirsty for righteousness you'll wait, even if it's waiting at 3am or from 6- 7, or through all the routine of the morning. You'll call and pray to Him, seeking and searching for Him over other options of temporary satisfaction. Yummy treats won't quench the thirst for Him. Sleep won't quench the thirst for Him. A good book won't quench the thirst for Him. Only time with Jesus will quench my thirst for righteousness. And so if I'm REALLY thirsty for righteousness, I'll wait, I'll seek, I'll search, and I'll wait some more, cause I know, nothing else will satisfy.

The days this month when I've said, "You know what! A few more minutes of sleep isn't going to quench my thirst for Jesus. A few more brownies won't do it either. That's it! I'm sick of running to these wells that don't satisfy! That's it! I'm getting up. I'm gonna seek You with all my heart! I'm gonna search for YOU when I'm tired! I'm gonna search for YOU when I want comfort and escape from the cross you call me to take up today! I'm gonna spend myself seeking YOU!" You know what... He's there.

And you know, sometimes He's asked ME for a drink of water.

"Bless me Sheila. Sing to me."

So I start singing and you know what... He fills me up! In my dryness, in my fatigue, in my thirst, when I sing to the Lover of my soul, He fills me with His Living Water. Sometimes it's immediate... I'm overflowing in His presence, cause He "inhabits the praises of His people."

Sometimes its hours later... He'll show up unexpectedly with a word of life.

Sometimes it's not until that day is done and I cry at His feet and His Spirit reminds me that I'm blessing Him by pouring out my life waiting for, expecting Him, to quench my thirst.

Sometimes its not been until church on Sunday when He's sent a Titus to comfort me and remind me that its my very weakness that exhibits His power, and that He knows I'm a lily in a thorny world.

One of the places He's quenched my thirst as I've waited on Him is in Amy Charmichael's Edges of His Ways. Her devo book is one of two places (the other being Searchlight online) I often find a drink of Living Water.

Here's a random sampling:

Psalm 103:22: Bless the Lord... in all the places of His dominion.

Some of the places are what we call dry places. For example, when we read our Bibles and do not find any special life-giving word, we are in one of those places. If however, then and there, in that very dry place in HIS dominion, we stop for a moment and look up and love Him and bless Him, we shall find (I believe this for I have proved it) that somehow the dryness has gone; we discover a "brook in the way" (Psalm 110:7) and we drink and are refreshed....

****

For more Kettle Club go to Exemplify

Isaiah 51:3

April's Giveaway Winner

2009-04-28T03:00:00.000-07:00

DivaQueenie is my randomly picked April giveaway winner!

Thanks for sharing all your favorite things about spring... I agree with them all!

Stay tuned next week for May's giveaway.

"Truth shall spring out of the earth, And righteousness shall look down from
heaven." -Psalm 85:11

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Comfort at Exemplify

2009-04-27T07:19:00.000-07:00

Great is my boldness of speech toward you, great is my boasting on your behalf.
I am filled with comfort. I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation. For
indeed, when we came to Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were troubled
on every side. Outside were conflicts, inside were fears. Nevertheless God, who
comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus. -2 Corinthians 7:4-7
NKJV

Maybe you need a Titus today. Maybe you are like I was on this past Sunday… “outside were conflicts, inside were fears.” If so, it’s my honor to get to pass on to you the comfort God comforted me with by the coming of my own “Titus.” ...

Head over to Exemplify to read the rest of the story!

Isaiah 51:3

I sing this song a lot... I'm singing it tonight

2009-04-25T20:32:00.000-07:00

Good To Me
by Craig Musseau

I cry out
For your hand of mercy to heal me
I am weak
I need your love to free me

O Lord, my rock
My strength in weakness
Come rescue me oh Lord

You are my hope
Your promise never fails me
And my desire
Is to follow you forever
For you are good
For you are good
For you are good to me
For you are good
For you are good
For you are good to me

Isaiah 51:3

Follow up on Pet Sins

2009-04-25T07:12:00.000-07:00

A few days back I wrote about Pet sins... about my pet sin. I confessed it here because I want all to see the mercy and saving grace of my Redeemer and I want to be free of ANYTHING, that binds me. Especially things I think are no big deal but are really keeping me from fully inheriting the Spirit as God would have me.

After writing that post though I just wanted to clarify something. I in no way am condemning the eating of sweets or enjoying a piece of cake, etc. If God provides it, and we give thanks for it, we can eat and be thankful. My post had nothing to do with eating and everything to do with hiding from God.

Hiding from God, trying to find an escape and indulge self just a bit with a hidden attitude of, "Can't I even have this!?" is the heart of this issue I was exposing in my life.

I'm not my own anymore. See, because I face daily the cross Jesus calls me to take up and follow Him with, I have a choice. I can either seek some form of escape from that cross, or I can deny myself, pick it up, and follow my King.

I face that choice everyday, and lately it seems my flesh is enticed to escape my cross via chocolate or goodies. I find myself having the thought, "I need to get away... I just need a break." Right before I go seeking some sweet thing to eat.

But the Spirit calls me to deny myself that false escape. He calls me not to return to a well that will not satisfy when I've tasted Living Water. He bids me to drink of His sweetness and be satisfied, so satisfied that I can take up my cross and follow Him.

Lust is an insatiable desire. It's not that the desire for rest and escape is wrong, but when it's sought to be satisfied with any substance or act of the flesh its lust, its insatiable. God wants me to find rest and escape... IN HIM! He wants me to labor to enter that rest. The labor isn't doing more of this or that. It's throwing off the lusts of my flesh. It's pushing away from deceptive alternatives that never satisfy.

The enemy will always entice my flesh with an alternative to the cross. And if I don't recognize every indulging self as a refusal of the cross God's called me to take up, following His Son, then I'm in danger of becoming hardened to the Spirit's urging in me to do His will and experience His everlasting life right here and now and forever.

There are times where I can eat cake or sweets or whatever and its not self-indulgence. In fact, there are all kinds of pleasures I enjoy everyday, but the Spirit knows when the thoughts of my heart are to escape the pain of being misunderstood, rejected and thought a fool for loving Jesus and teaching His ways to my kids. THAT'S THE HEART OF THE PROBLEM: SEEKING TO ESCAPE MY CROSS! He knows cake, chocolate, ice cream, cookies... none of those temporary pleasures are going to take me one step closer to experiencing fellowship with Christ, in His sufferings and in His resurrection. He has no problem with me eating sweets. He has a problem with me running away from the cross He's set before me, no matter what route of escape I try to use.

I like the way Amy Carmichael put it in The Edges of His Ways:

Luke 9:23: "If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me."

I think often we accept the cross in theory, but when it comes to practice, we either do not recognize it for what it is, or we recognize it and try to avoid it. This we can always do, for the cross is something that can be taken up or left, just as we choose. It is not illness (that comes to all), or bereavement (that also is the common lot of man). It is something voluntarily suffered for the sake of the Lord Jesus, some denial of self that would not be if we were not following Him. Often it is something that has shame in it (this, of course, was the earliest connotation of the word), such as the misunderstanding of friends and their blame, when the principles which govern our lives appear foolishness to them. It always has at its core the denial of self and self-love in all its manifestation. Self-choices go down before the call to take up the cross and follow. They fade away and cease to be.

I want to know Christ ladies! I want to share in His sufferings, be conformed to His death and live in His resurrection. The more I think on Him the more I despise that I still seek escape in sweets! May I not refuse to take up my cross and follow Him today by indulging my flesh in temporary escapes!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Will it work?

2009-04-24T03:00:00.000-07:00

Artyom Sidorkin of Russia, who went into surgery this week for what doctors believed was a large, malignant lung tumor. Doctors found and removed a 3-inch-tall fir tree growing in his lung. “I thought I was hallucinating,” said the surgeon, who thinks Sidorkin must have inhaled a seed. -from The Week Magazine

I heard this story at the end of a message delivered from one of my favorite Bible teachers, Jon Courson. His message was JUST what I needed to hear today. I had it playing in the background while I was putting away laundry and working on a little preschool project with my 4 year old son.

My heart has been so discouraged lately with all the opposition I face due to my own past choices, my current circumstances, the unbelief of those around me and my own lack of believing. I've been downcast because I've doubted that the seeds of truth (God's word) that I'm trying to plant in my sons, and live out in my life, are really going to take root and grow into a mature tree that produces righteous fruit.

I've looked at my marriage situation and thought, "My sons will never receive this from a mommy. They need a dad. A man who raises his voice in worship. A man who leads them into service. A man who prayers over them and with them." I've looked at the response I've gotten from my oldest son... the eye rolling, the sighs, the "Not this again mom!" The, "Is this a GOD book mom? UHHHHH!" The, "Only mommies and girls go to church mom! Not daddies and boys." The, "I don't believe you mom!" With the backdrop to all those statements being non-stop excited talk about Star Wars and this fictional monster, and that make-believe villain, I've felt like I'm up against the god of this age. Me. A little housewife who struggles to believe on her own. Who rebelled against God when she was a pure virgin before Him. Who chose this way. I've felt like my feeble attempt at teaching my sons the way of the Lord is tasting like dry toast in the midst of all the candy offered them.

But then on this past Sunday the Lord encouraged me. He reminded me that He knew I was tired, discouraged and doubting, but that He was with me. And that I was being His witness here. And that He uses the weak to lead the strong.

Then today I listened to the message from Courson and he talked about how we, as Christians, are witnesses to the people around us not necessarily by leaving tracks on people cars or doors or whatever (not that those don't have their place if that is something you're called to), but simply by speaking the truth in every situation. The truth.

Pilot asked, "What is truth?" (John 18:38)

Jesus prayed, "Thy word is truth." (John 17:17)

In every situation if we answer truthfully, interject what's right, speak out what God says, we are being His witnesses.

Courson talked about how this will often cause people to despise us because it burns them, even though on our part we do it in love (and we should be sure that we are speaking the truth in love not in spite or reviling). Often speaking the truth in love will cause people to rejoice when we finally leave their town, situation, workplace... life. Often we'll be rejected, but always God will raise up a remnant of those who will believe because we spoke the truth. We may not always see it, but it will happen.

Courson raised the example of Solomon's mom. Just the example I needed to hear. He pointed out that Solomon wrote the Proverbs 31 chapter in memory of his mother. Solomon recounts what she taught him in verses 1-9.

The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him: What, my son? And what, son of my womb? And what, son of my vows? Do not give your strength to women, Nor your ways to that which destroys kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, It is not for kings to drink wine, Nor for princes intoxicating drink; Lest they drink and forget the law, And pervert the justice of all the afflicted. Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to those who are bitter of heart. Let him drink and forget his poverty, And remember his misery no more. Open your mouth for the speechless, In the cause of all who are appointed to die. Open your mouth, judge righteously, And plead the cause of the poor and needy. - Proverbs 31:1-9 NKJV

There she implores her son not to go the way of the world... sex, drugs and rock n' roll... etc. She points out he was destined for greatness... to be a king for God, to be a deliverer of the oppressed, poor, women and children. She calls him to rise to that call and not get caught up with immoral women and drunkenness. But as I was listening to Courson's message, he goes on to say that she probably died not seeing her son become the man she desired him to be... the man she spoke truth to. Nevertheless, in Ecclesiastes we see the wayward Solomon come to realize that all of what he'd gone chasing after was stupid and vain, and that fearing God and obeying His truth is what really matters in life.

Ecclesiastes calls Solomon, "the Preacher." Solomon's mom probably died seeing Solomon as a rebellious, worldly man. But the truth she planted in him eventually sprouted up to make him a preacher.

Courson then shared that story about the man with the 3 inch tall fir tree growing in his lungs.

God's word is an imperishable seed.

For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. - 1 Peter 1:23 NIV

The Word is planted in our hearts, and in our kids' hearts when we speak it to them and model it for them, and even though the odds against it growing seem more than that of a fir seed planted in a lung growing, it will grow! It will work!

Let us moms not grow weary in planting truth in our kids and in others God has brought into our lives. God will get what He desires from His implanted Word.

"For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, And do not return there, But water the earth, And make it bring forth and bud, That it may give seed to the sower And bread to the eater, So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it." -Isaiah 55:10-11 NKJV

Isaiah 51:3

My breastplate

2009-04-23T08:45:00.000-07:00

St. Patrick's Breastplate

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through the belief in the threeness,
Through the confession of the oneness
Of the Creator of Creation.

I arise today
Through the strength of Christ's birth with his baptism,
Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,
Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension,
Through the strength of his descent for the Judgment Day.

I arise today
Through the strength of the love of Cherubim,
In obedience of angels,
In the service of archangels,
In hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In prayers of patriarchs,
In predictions of prophets,
In preaching of apostles,
In faith of confessors,
In innocence of holy virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven:
Light of sun,
Radiance of moon,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of wind,
Depth of sea,
Stability of earth,
Firmness of rock.

I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me:
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's host to save me
From snares of demons,
From temptations of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
Afar and anear,
Alone and in multitude.

I summon today all these powers between me and those evils,
Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my body and soul,
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.

Christ to shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that there may come to me abundance of reward.
Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness,
Of the Creator of Creation.

I've read pieces of this before, but the other day at a prayer meeting I read through the entire thing.

Looking back over time and reading things my brothers and sisters from the past have written while I hear "Amen" ringing in my soul, I realize it's the Spirit. It's the Spirit of Christ in us throughout time. Our soul's cry the same thing! St. Patrick's Breastplate is my breastplate is your breastplate... is anyone's who's life is in Christ and Him alone.

I arise today not cause I'm human and I breathe and I have two legs and I eat and work and make beds and drink and talk with others and sleep and do all the other things that humans "naturally" do. I arise today because of Christ and His kingdom.

Just stop and think about that for a moment. You and I who trust in Christ rise in the strength of our Creator, our Redeemer. We have angels and cheribum on our side. Prophets and patriarchs. Archangels and apostles. Confessors. Holy virgins. Righteous men. Even the sun and moon and all creation are for our good and strength since we are in Christ. Christ is our life and His kingdom is ours because of HIM!

"For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or pricipalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things consist." -Colossians 1:16-17 NKJV

Isaiah 51:3

Stop the World

2009-04-21T14:29:00.000-07:00

I have much to share. And even if there's no one to share it with I need to sit down and write out the encouragement I'm receiveing as I've waited on the Lord recently.

For now, here's a song a dear sister sent me. I hadn't heard it before. It totally speaks my heart!

Isaiah 51:3

Engineer?

2009-04-18T14:24:00.000-07:00

"...show them the way in which they must walk and the work they must do." - Exodus 18:20 NKJV

Future engineer of some kind maybe? He engineered this "robot" out of stuff around the house and in his room this morning! :)

Lord give me wisdom to show him the way YOU designed him to go!

Isaiah 51:3

A word to the weary and weak parent

2009-04-17T05:38:00.000-07:00

I have been overwhelmed with discouragement this past couple days. Truly I am one of His "weary" and "weak". I'm so glad He says, "He gives strength to weary and increases the power of the weak..." (Isaiah 40:29).

It's parenting. It's being in a "foriegn land." It's my circumstances. They always find me weary and weak. I'm so thankful that in my weakness, as I wait on the Lord, He strengthens me.

Maybe you're a weak and weary soul this morning. Wait on the Lord. Let Him hear you. And maybe in the words below He'll give you instruction, strength, for today as He did me.

Therefore disputed he in the synagogue with the Jews, and with the devout persons, and in the market daily with them that met with him.
Acts 17:17

What did Paul do about the idolatry which broke his heart? He talked. In the church and on the street, Paul dialogued daily concerning the idolatry which gripped the city. So too, I am discovering that it’s my job as both a pastor and as a father to dispute, to dialogue, and to discuss in depth.

Mom and Dad, we have the responsibility and the privilege:

To talk to our kids constantly,
To share with our kids consistently,
To invest in our kids wisely —

Not so much telling them what to do, but teaching them how to think so that, slowly but surely, they will make the right decisions eventually.

How do we teach our kids how to think? Through the Scriptures.

How long has it been since, like Paul, you’ve talked with your kids in depth concerning issues as they relate to the Scriptures? In 2 Kings 4, we read that the responsibility of one of the young men who studied under Elisha was to prepare breakfast. But when the other students dove into the meal, they spit it out saying, ‘This stuff is terrible. There’s poison in the pot.’ Spitting and sputtering, they were about to dump out the whole thing, when Elisha said, ‘Hold on. Don’t dump it out. Take the meal — the good stuff — and pour it into the bad stuff.’ They did, and a miracle transpired, for when the good was poured in, the poison dissipated.

That’s the key, Mom and Dad:

We are not to pick the poison out of our kids’ lives, for that will only lead to legalism and result in resentment and rebellion. Instead, we’re to pour in the meal of the Word when our kids are poisoned by the pottage of the world, for greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world (I John 4:4).

Not only are we to pour in the meal, but we are to let the dirt go, for in 2 Kings 5, we see another relevant example in the life of Elisha. Naaman, a Syrian who had leprosy, was told by Elisha to dip in the Jordan River seven times. When Naaman obeyed, he was healed immediately. He then said to Elisha, ‘I must go back to Syria, but I want to take some soil from Israel with me so I can worship Jehovah at home.’ You see, in this region of the world, the prevalent point of view was that gods were local, and could only be worshipped on the soil of the country of their origin. That is why Naaman wanted to take dirt from Israel back to Syria. Elisha's response? ‘Go in peace. Do it.’

‘Elisha, what are you doing?’ I protest. ‘You know that the God of Israel is not a local
deity to be worshipped superstitiously. Why didn’t you correct Naaman?’ But upon further reflection, I believe there’s a wise reason Elisha let Naaman return to Syria with dirt from Israel: Elisha knew Naaman’s understanding of God was very limited. Naaman had been touched by God, had received healing from God, but he was not yet very deep in his knowledge of God. Did Elisha give him a lecture on theology? No. Elisha simply let him go his way, knowing that as a brand new baby believer, Naaman would, in time, discover he didn’t need the dirt at all.

So too, mom and dad, if we fight every side-issue our kids struggle with, when they face the crucial issues — the ones dealing with sin and black and white matters — we will not have their attention. We see a lot of Christian young people whose circuits are blown because a well-meaning parent pushed too hard on non-essential matters and fought the wrong battles. Consequently, as a father I have to pray, ‘Heavenly Father, help me to know what issues are essential for my kids. Help me see which questions need to be addressed, and help me, Lord, to let the bags of dirt go.’

Folks, our Father delights in dilemmas without easy answers because they make us go to Him. A lot of us would rather talk to a pastor, read a book, or seek counsel from a friend — but in so doing, we are robbed of the opportunity of cultivating a deep, intimate, eternal relationship with a Father Who says, ‘See Me for specific instructions. Search the Scriptures daily and I’ll guide you and show you what battles need to be fought, for I alone know the hearts of your children.’

This Daily Devotional is an excerpt from the book "A Days Journey" by Pastor Jon. "A Days Journey" is a collection of 365 short devotions from the New Testatment. If you would like your own copy of "A Days Journey" you may click here to go to the SearchLight Store

Oh balm to my soul! I think this is a good introduction to the rest of the Home Matters series on teaching our kids God's word that I haven't posted yet.

Today, may we prayerfully set out to constantly, consistently and wisely pour the "good" (God's word and ways) into our kids though they are tainted by sin and this world with the "bad".

(The excerpt above was taken from the Searchlight website.)

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Calling all grocery shopping pros

2009-04-15T15:25:00.000-07:00

I NEED YOUR HELP!!!

My husband and I have been trying to stick to a budget and over the last month we've found that we spend WAY more than we thought we did on groceries.

I feel so out of ideas. I already take the weekly ads and sit down every week to plan out a weeks worth of menus and make a grocery shopping list accordingly. We don't eat any prepackaged foods. I make my husband's and child's lunches (for work and school). We don't eat out often. I always make our meals based on what meat is on sale that week. I don't use coupons because most of the stuff that takes a coupon is pre-packaged and boxed foods that we don't eat.

We have a food budget of $500 a month... that's just food. I thought that was generous, but it turns out we are half way through the month and I've already spent $350. I talked with my husband about it. He said he's willing to eat less meat and even eat less period. He thinks maybe we eat too much or maybe we just eat too much meat. This is huge coming from my man who is a very in-shape, active, muscular, meat and potatoes eating machine! I try to keep our menu varied so he doesn't get bored with what we eat. I also try to keep it healthy... we don't eat casseroles (which have a lot of creamed soups and such in them... I love casseroles though!), and we don't eat deep fried food.

Here's what our menus generally look like:

Breakfast:

cold cereal/milk or
oatmeal with raisins or
egg burrito or
eggs and toast or
eggs and potatoes

Lunch:

leftovers or
lunchmeat sandwiches or
peanut butter and jelly sands

Dinner:

A slow cooked, grilled or sauteed meat
A side of rice or potatoes
A side of green veggies or salad

Deserts:

I try to keep ice cream or make some cookies or a pie regularly available.
We snack a lot on cold cereal or fruit.

So that's how we eat.

Today I took an inventory of everything in my freezer, fridge and pantry. I came up with 10 pages of items and I was overwhelmed with all of the odds and ends of things I have yet don't know what to make with them. I decided that if I had an inventory at least I could refer to it to try and use what we have on hand to supplement my grocery shopping list and replace as necessary.

I would just love to hear any of your ideas, recipes, etc. to help me better budget groceries and meal planning for a family of four who eat as we do.

Do any of you have good vegetarian dish ideas?
What is your grocery budget like?
What do you do to keep it as low as you can?

Thanks!

Isaiah 51:3

If I had Two Hands

2009-04-14T09:37:00.000-07:00

This is my new favorite song. I love Jars of Clay. Their lyrics always speak what I can never seem to put into words much less beautiful song.

My favorite line is:

"I have a broken disposition. I am a liar who thirsts for the truth..."

What do you think?

Isaiah 51:3

A long overdue recommendation

2009-04-13T18:04:00.001-07:00

Back at Christmas I won a beautiful necklace from Tammy over at The Adventures of T and Super B. She has an amazing jewelry and gift boutique called Lily J Designs, where her handcrafted jewelry, art and gifts are sold.

I picked this necklace from my winnings back then and I LOVE IT!!!! Pink Sea Treasure:

I'm not much of a jewelry wearer, but when I get the chance I'm thrilled to wear this necklace! It's classy. It's simple. It's just pretty! Every time I put it on my sons say, "Wow mom! You look sooooo nice! You look like a princess!" I curtsy and say, "Why thank you my young prince!" (( smile))

Tammy has many other gorgeous designs at her boutique! I encourage you to go visit. If you're looking for an original, feminine gift for a lady in your life, I'm sure you'll find it there! Mother's Day is coming soon!!!

Thanks Tammy for a beautiful necklace I always look forward to wearing!

Isaiah 51:3

My God saved the day! He is Alive!

2009-04-12T10:45:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter!

Isaiah 51:3

Will the Seed grow?

2009-04-11T08:05:00.000-07:00

So there they laid Jesus, because of the Jews' Preparation Day, for the tomb was nearby. -John 19:42 NKJV

It's Saturday. Yesterday and Thursday my heart was meditative upon the Cross of my Lord. This morning I'm reading through the Preparation day accounts in the gospels and thinking about waiting for new life to spring up.

THE Seed had been placed in the ground. And now they waited. But they waited in grief, not knowing the Seed would rise anew and in us multiply His life.

In a very small way I understand what they felt. When I planted seeds in my garden I truly had doubts that they'd grow. I put the seed in the dirt and... that's it. I watered it. I waited. Nothing.

What if it didn't rise through the dirt? My effort (small as it was) would be wasted, and my hope for fruit and veggies to be eaten would be lost.

And in a bigger way I understand that making your own human life as a seed, planted in the dust of humanity is even riskier.

But I know the end of the story concerning the Seed of all seeds. He rose through the stone. The soil wasn't even good where they planted Him. It would seem impossible that He would rise. But He did.

I wait through this Saturday reflecting on how it feels to anticipate new life when it seems impossible, yet I know that if Jesus is in it, not even a stone can keep resurrected life from sprouting forth.

So I receive the implanted Word into my heart meekly and trust that even through the stone of my heart Jesus will rise in me.

Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. -James 1:21 NKJV

I take up my cross of speaking the truth in love, confessing, repenting, obeying God, and bearing the offenses of others in mercy and intercession, willingly denying myself all the way to death; pouring out my life (the new life I have as Christ dwells in me), planting my life in others, trusting the Word is able to rise past the dirt, stone and opposition and produce resurrection life. Eternal life.

Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor. - John 12:24-26 NKJV

I wait in confidence that a day is coming when Resurrection life won't just live in the midst of perishing flesh, but will be all there is.

But someone will say, "How are the dead raised up? And with what body do they come?" Foolish one, what you sow is not made alive unless it dies. And what you sow, you do not sow that body that shall be, but mere grain--perhaps wheat or some other grain. But God gives it a body as He pleases, and to each seed its own body. All flesh is not the same flesh, but there is one kind of flesh of men, another flesh of animals, another of fish, and another of birds. There are also celestial bodies and terrestrial bodies; but the glory of the celestial is one, and the glory of the terrestrial is another. There is one glory of the sun, another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars; for one star differs from another star in glory. So also is the resurrection of the dead. The body is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption. It is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness, it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body. -1Corinthians 15:35-44 NKJV

And I'll even plant my canteloupe seeds, trusting in the power of God to raise to new life a seed, dead in the dirt, which for me to live (by the eating of it's fruit) requires its death.

Isaiah 51:3

Who would have thought?

2009-04-10T15:06:00.000-07:00

1 Who believes what we've heard and seen? Who would have thought God's saving power would look like this? 2 The servant grew up before God - a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field. There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look. 3 He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away. We looked down on him, thought he was scum.

4 But the fact is, it was our pains he carried - our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures. 5 But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him - our sins! He took the punishment, and that made us whole. Through his bruises we get healed. 6 We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost. We've all done our own thing, gone our own way. And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong, on him, on him. 7 He was beaten, he was tortured, but he didn't say a word. Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered and like a sheep being sheared, he took it all in silence. 8 Justice miscarried, and he was led off - and did anyone really know what was happening? He died without a thought for his own welfare, beaten bloody for the sins of my people. 9 They buried him with the wicked, threw him in a grave with a rich man, Even though he'd never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn't true.

10 Still, it's what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain. The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he'd see life come from it - life, life, and more life. And God's plan will deeply prosper through him. 11 Out of that terrible travail of soul, he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it. Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant, will make many "righteous ones," as he himself carries the burden of their sins. 12 Therefore I'll reward him extravagantly - the best of everything, the highest honors - Because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch, because he embraced the company of the lowest. He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many, he took up the cause of all the black sheep. - The Message Isaiah 53

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Preparing to Remember

2009-04-09T09:48:00.000-07:00

Today I'm preparing to remember what the blood of Christ, my Passover Lamb, did for me. I'll be remembering, reflecting, meditating... worshipping in the presence of children who only know the story through me, and with a listening Philippian jailer.

I'm praying for an earthquake! I'm praying for walls to fall! I'm praying for a prostituted soul to hang the scarlet cord out the window of their soul!

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek." -Romans 1:6 NKJV

I'm praying for eyes to be opened. For questions to be asked. I'm praying for a godly sorrow that leads to true repentance. I'm praying for revelation.

May Resurrection day come with the true raising of new life in this house!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Standing at the cross of my Captain

2009-04-09T03:00:00.000-07:00

"Therefore we also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power, that the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ." -2 Thess.1:11-12 NKJV

There Private Ryan stood, an old man now, before the cross at the grave of his dead Captain.

Captain John H. Miller had given up his life to find and save Private Ryan years before and now he stood before Captain Miller's gravestone trembling.

He wasn't sure he could even come back to the place where Miller gave his life. He wondered if he had led a worthy life. A good life. A life that said Captain Miller's life wasn't sacrificed in vain. He had been given freed by Captain Miller, but that freedom came at a mighty price. He knew it. It weakened his ability to stand, but it also motivated him to honor the sacrifice with his life.

This is EXACTLY what happens to me every time I stand before the cross of my Captain. The Captain of all captains.

He isn't dead, but His cross reminds me that He had to suffer and die a terrible death and that His sacrifice was more costly than I can ever repay. I can't earn what He did for me, but while I stand remembering the cost, I tremble and desire to live a life that honor's His sacrifice. I owe my life to HIM. It's not about earning salvation, it's about living a life that honors the One who died to save me.

That's why I can't indulge my flesh without overwhelming shame. That's why I MUST teach my kids the truth.

I want to be able to look at the people in my life and know they'll be able to say my life honored the cross of my Captain. I want them to see His life laid down causing me to live. But even more than the assesment of the people in my life is what God would say about me. Would He say I've lived a life worthy, a life that honors Christ?

Unlike Ryan, my hope is not that my life will ever be enough... I know my life will never be enough. I know I can never earn what my Captain has done for me, but His cross compels me to live a life that honors Him.

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

I was born here

2009-04-07T15:16:00.000-07:00

"Listen to Me, you who follow after righteousness, You who seek the Lord: Look to the rock from which you were hewn, And to the hole of the pit from which you were dug. Look to Abraham your father, And to Sarah who bore you; For I called him alone, And blessed him and increased him." For the Lord will comfort Zion, He will comfort all her waste places; He will make her wilderness like Eden, And her desert like the garden of the Lord; Joy and gladness will be found in it, Thanksgiving and the voice of melody." - Isaiah51:1-3 NKJV

This is one of my favorite passages in all of scripture. It tells where my new life began. It tells of how God brings life out of death.

He has hewn us from the THE Rock and we are living stones. When that great rock rolled away my new life emerged from the tomb in His. He has given us new life from a hole. A hole in His hands. A hole in His feet. A hole in His side.

When I read, "...and to the hole of the pit from which you were dug..." I see those holes in His hands, feet and side.

I was born in the holes where nails pierced His hands and feet, and from a pit where a spear opened His side. Where blood and water poured out. A fountain of new life. Just as blood and water pour out from the womb.

Just as the LORD made a father from childless Abraham, and a mother from barren Sarah, He brought forth my new life like a garden out of waste places. He gave birth to me eternally through my deadness, which He bore, there at the Cross.

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

April's Giveaway

2009-04-06T07:21:00.001-07:00

I can't believe it's April!

I love this month. It's one of my favorite months of the year. Here in the desert the cacti are blooming spectacular flowers and the whether is not yet blistering hot. Also my firstborn's birthday starts off this month. And for the past two years the rememberance of my Savior's sacrifice and resurrection has become increasingly worshipful and celebratory for me.

April is a month of remembering new life and trusting in the promise of what we get a little taste of here and now. One day He will make all things new.

Aaaaa spring! The death of seeds in the ground and the resurrection of them to new life sprouting up green and blooming whites, pinks, and yellows speak of Christ and my life in His.

So this month's giveaway will be a journal, some seeds for planting and some other surprises.

All you have to do to enter to win is leave a comment on this post about your favorite part of creation or favorite activity at springtime.

Happy commenting!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Confessions: Pet sin

2009-04-05T02:57:00.000-07:00

***(I just have note that my friend, after originally writing this post helped me more accurately jog my memory as to when this event happened in the past... not 11 years ago but more like 8 or 9. I know it really doesn't matter, but since it was brought to my attention and this post is being shared other places I just wanted to clear that up.)***

It's 3am.

About 8 years ago I faced a night like tonight. Because I tend to rank sin on a scale of badness, what I did tonight almost slips past the cross of Christ in my mind like a pet. A pet sin. But tonight my broken Jesus, who was bruised for my transgressions was looking at me the whole time and I can no longer call my sin anything less than it is in light of the cross. It's lust.

I think if I were to make known what I did tonight some, like me, might laugh or sigh, or poopoo what happened. Some might think, "Aw come on Sheila, you're being too hard on yourself." I understand. That's what I did the entire time I indulged my flesh in the secret of the night tonight... I made excuses to the Holy Spirit. This is MY sin. This may not be sin to you, but it is to me and I'm tired of carrying it around like a pet. It's not a pet, it's chains!

Tonight I woke up to let my cat out. The first thing I thought of was the leftover chocolate cake sitting on the counter from my son's party. I immediately cut myself a large slice and sat down at my table to devour it. I'd never do this in front of my husband or kids... I wouldn't want to look like I was indulging myself. And if I did, I do it with a hard attitude, as though to say, "Geeze! Can't I even have a piece of cake!?" And that's exactly what I did. I sat down and argued with the Holy Spirit while I ate it saying, "Can't I even have a piece of cake?!!" Problem is I was sitting in front of our little lamb, who is laying on a stream of red satin underneath a boquet of flowers with the banner, "Christ our Passover Lamb has been sacrificed..." hanging over it.

After I hardened my heart to the Spirit over a piece of cake, Christ's light was shining so much, I couldn't hide. Where can I go from His Spirit? Why do I even try to go?! I was drawn to His Word like a baby sheep longing for milk! I opened to Psalm 23.

"The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want..." -Psalm 23:1

His holy life layed down for mine exposed the true nature of my sin. It wasn't about cake. It wasn't about food. It was about lust. And before the holiness of God I saw that what I did tonight was not different at all in the eyes of my Maker than what I did 11 years ago.

8 years ago I called a dear friend weeping. Overcome by the guilt of what I'd just done while I knew Jesus was there. It wasn't cake that night. It was pornography.

I remember the excuses I made. But that night they were all broken because all I could see was my Jesus hanging on a tree. That night before the cross, Jesus broke my wicked bonds to sexual lust. Tonight, by His blood, He's breaking my bonds to appetite lust.

As I sat before my slain Lamb I realized tonight was a turning point, just like it was for me 11 years ago, and I had to confess it. I had to bring it out in the open. Because I want to be healed. It's not a pet for me, it's a ravenous wolf that's never satisfied.

I'll never be the same. Tonight the blood of Jesus dripped on my cake. It dripped on my lips. It poured on my tongue. It soaked my stomach. I can never pick it up again without seen the Cross.

Oh my Lord! You are my Shepherd... I shall NOT want the fullfillment of my flesh's lust in any area! I shall be satisfied in YOU! For YOU prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies! May the table of Your body broken for me, and the wine of Your blood poured out for me, forever satisfy me, even while the enemy who once claimed godhood over the appetites of my flesh is present.

This has been me in this area of lustful appetite even until tonight:

For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. - Philippians 3:19 NIV

NO LONGER! NO LONGER LORD! JESUS you have come! You have conquered! You have exposed this sin in me! I run from it! I run exposed to YOU! I run to YOUR salvation! From tonight on my stomach shall never be a idolic "god" I hold in my hand while I try to enter Your promised land! NEVER AGAIN! Let YOUR blood mark this night! Let it mark my stomach! Let it mark my mind! For from tonight I set my blood stained hands that have clung to this idol of my stomach on this:

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. - Philippians 3:19b-20 NIV

And this:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. -1 John 1:9 NIV

I write all this out here in the open because my Lord says:

When you see the naked, that you cover him, And not hide yourself from your own flesh?... Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. - Isaiah 58:7-8 NKJV

My Lord, who exposed Himself and covered me on the cross calls me to expose my own sin and not hide myself from my own fellow man. But rather to cover my exposed brother or sister with the mercy of the Cross when I see them. This is not what I tend to do. I tend to hide my self under the cover of sleeping hours, or behind closed doors, or while away on an errand, and expose others when I see their offensive sin. But that's not my Lord's way. He heals me when I call my friend and confess my sin, or willingly let my shame be exposed to you here, and cover my friend, or you, or my husband when I see nakedness. This is how He cleanses us from our sin. This is how we can walk in His righteousness.

I wonder if any of you would, with me tonight, be exposed before our Lord. I wonder if any would see Him looking at our hands like He looked at mine tonight saying, "You're still holding that idol in your hand like a pet! Drop it! You can't go any further in if You're still holding that." I wonder if any would look at the Cross with me tonight in our nakedness. I wonder if any would be broken by His love and ask Him to mark our hands and our appetites for whatever it is our flesh lusts for with His blood so that we may never again approach that idol as though it were a pet. May His love and His grace make us tremble. May it shake us so much that we are free from our chains but not destroyed.

Oh may we see our "pet" sins as chains! And may we not cuddle our chains, or play with them in secret, but expose them before His cross, and each other, and let His blood break them! I don't want cake at 3am, or cookies in the middle of the day, or a KitKat on the way home from the store, to hold me back from further entering the life in the Spirit God leads me to through the cross! If He looks at me, exposing my "pet" as an idol, which is chaining me when He's made me free... oh let me drop it like a poisonous snake!

I'm looking to You who knew no sin, and became sin for me that I might become the righteousness of God tonight! I want YOU, not this!

Isaiah 51:3

Our Passover and Easter

2009-04-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

Last year a passionate desire began in me to really stop to remember our Passover Lamb- Christ. We had our first Passover seder and it was great, but it was a bit lengthy. I so wanted to savor ever little bit of meaning in each of the emblems in the dinner, but then I had a 3 and 4 year old sitting at the table, trying hard to listen but their glossed over eyes giving away that my "sermon" was just a tad too long. :)

So, this year I've been prayerfully seeking how I could really keep it simple, worshipful, and yet not loose any of the emblems. One of the things the Spirit keeps reminding me is that I don't have to explain everything. I can simply worship the Lord and meditate on Him as I serve this special meal and remember His body and blood broken and poured out for me. He also reminds me that He'll stir my kids to ask questions and He'll give me the answers. So instead of giving a sermon on every aspect of the meal this year, this is what we've been doing:

Thanks to the ideas I gleaned from the Family Guide to Biblical Holidays book, in February we started studying the different emblems of Passover a week at a time.

We did a week on sheep. And then a week on shepherds. Then we did a week on Jesus being our Lamb and Good Shepherd. (The kids crack me up. They said, "Yeah. Jesus can be a shepherd and a sheep. He can be two things cause He's God!")

Then we did a week on bread. I think that was the kids' favorite cause we made bread. Last we did a week on seeds and plants. We talked about how Jesus said unless a grain (seed) of wheat falls into the ground and dies it remains alone, but if it dies it bears much fruit. We talked about how Jesus died, but just like a seed dies and then sprouts a new life, He came alive again and lives in us who put our trust in Him, promising to raise us to new life, with eternal bodies like He has. The kids LOVED that too. They wondered if in their "new" bodies they'd get to fly.

Then this past week we made a sheep centerpiece for our kitchen table.

We also placed lambs that represent each of us in this house on the windows of our front entrance, along with the prophecy of Christ's sacrificial death in Isaiah 53 and our declaration of celebrating the Passover and Easter. I kinda saw it as a modern placing the blood on our front doors. I know the application is spiritual, to the doors of our hearts, but I felt stirred to put a physical declaration of our dependence upon the blood of the Lamb at the entrance to our house.

On Palm Sunday we'll begin a daily reading through the book Benjamin's Box to prepare our hearts for Easter, which I discovered thanks to Jill at Praiseworthy Things.

At the actual Passover dinner we'll be having all the emblems, but instead of going through a lengthy haggadah, I'm reading this book to the kids at the table. Then we'll taste each of the parts of the dinner and prayerfully discuss each, especially the breaking of the bread and the drinking of the wine (grape juice).

I'm so prayerful about Passover this year. It's such a tremendous opportunity. My children asking questions and listening and savoring the specialness of the night. My husband taking it all in. My heart overflowing in worship... I'm sure I'll be fighting back tears. My sweet neighbor and her girls will be here with us, sharing in the richness of the night.

Father, I pray right now for Your anointing on that night. Please bring to Connor and Ryland's remembrance Your word. Stir them to ask questions. And I pray you'd give me utterance to make known the mystery of the gospel of Christ to them. I pray the night would fill my husband's ears with worship of You and prayers to You.

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

The Triune Ministry of Homemaking: Building Relationships

2009-03-31T07:48:00.000-07:00

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. - Proverbs 14:1 NIV

Of all the things that homemaking is, it is essentially the building up of relationships for God's glory.

The relationship between a husband and wife is a model of Christ and His Bride, the Church.

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. - Ephesians 5:31-33 NIV

The relationship between mother and child is a picture of the mothering of disciples of Christ through the Church.

My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you, how I wish I could be with you now and change my tone, because I am perplexed about you! - Galatians 4:19 NIV

As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you. You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed. For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. - 1 Thess. 2:6-12 NIV

And I'm sure that the beauty and facets of God's glory that can be revealed in the relationships of marriage and parenting I'm barely only beginning to see. But this is what I know so far: I was made a woman for the glory of God. I was also made a wife and a mother for the glory of God. The relationships that make up my home are my home making!

Relationships trump management

Although watching over the ways of my household is my God-given responsibility and honor, when the overseeing of my home becomes the central focus, my call to build a home wisely for the glory of God gets blurred. But when the central focus of my homemaking is to build relationships between my husband and children for Christ, the management and day to day care of my home fall into their rightful places.

Sometimes I have to be "reduced" to the central purpose of building God-glorifying relationships in my home so that I can get back to the essence of the ministry God's given me to do.

There are ways I think our home should be managed. But when my management plan puts my husband under the bus, the management aspect of my homemaking has to be scratched. I have to put my relationship to my husband before the way I believe our home is to be managed.

Sometimes that means letting go of good and right ways of running our home to get behind my man and say lovingly, as a friend, "I don't think this is right, but you're the leader of this family babe, and I'm with you whether what you're choosing in the management of our home is what I believe is right or not. If you choose ways that are good, I'll stand behind you. If you choose a wrong way, I'll go down with you. And I'll trust the Lord."

This has been a constant issue with me over the years, and lately it has come up even more. For the sake of protecting my husband and our household I won't go into details. But suffice it to say, God is teaching me that the ministry of glorifying Jesus in my marriage relationship is more important than the good things I desire to do in the management of our household. It's a matter of learning submission to the Father, and to teach me that He always remind me of Sarah.

Sarah called Abraham her "lord." You know like, "Yes my lord" and "Yes my lady". (I'm picturing old English kings and queens here). He didn't exactly deserve such a stately title. After all he took her into Egypt and told her to lie about being his wife. But because Sarah stood by her man, God sent Abraham and Sarah safely out of Egypt blessed.

Through Sarah's example I learn it's more important to God that I reveal my trust in HIS sovereignty and my commitment to lovingly stand by my husband, than it is that all the "right" things (things I think are right) get done.

It's true, sometimes the way I see it really is the "right" way. Sometimes what my husband wants to do really isn't right. But God's not so concerned about that. He's teaching me that He gets the glory through me not by me making sure everything runs just right in my house, but by standing by my husband even when he's wrong and by quietly trusting in God's sovereign love and care for me and my family.

Relationships trump housekeeping

I need to be willing to follow the example of my Lord and get down and dirty and do some good 'ole toilet scrubbing and carpet cleaning, and blind dusting... foot washing things. But when keeping a clean house becomes an obsession which leaves my husband and children feeling like they're walking on ice in their house, or feeling like they live with "the maid" rather than a friend, something is outta whack!

I know for me, sometimes cleaning is an escape. If I'm frustrated, angry or hurt I'll hide myself in cleaning jobs. Sometimes it's good. I'm always humbled and Jesus often meets me when I'm on my knees cleaning up dust, grime and bodily fluids. Sometimes it's where I need to be and it's where my kids and husband will see the humble love of God in me. But sometimes cleaning is just a way I can brush off my husband and kids. In those times the Spirit never ceases to say, "Put down the dishes right now and go sit next to your husband and watch that baseball commentary that you don't really care about with him." Or, "Stop detailing the kitchen cabinets and go play Legos with your sons." Or, "Quit folding the laundry and go ask your husband how he's doing."

Both cleaning and managing must be submitted to the relationship building between a husband and wife and a mother and her children.

To make sure that building up relationships for God's glory remains my central focus I must set out to manage my home for God's glory, get down on my knees to scrub some "feet" or toilets or whatever, but then I must be willing to lay both of those callings aside when they are not aiding me in building the relationship between my husband and I or between my children and I.

Being a wise woman who builds her home for God's glory means I need to be like a palm tree. I need to live a life that points up (management), to Christ. I need to keep my roots in the dirt (foot washing). But I also need to bend when the wind blows (relationship building).

A savvy woman can manage her house like a well-oiled machine. A diligent woman can keep her house clean as whistle. But only a woman who has tasted the love of Christ can build up the relationships in her home.

The relationship between a woman and her husband is written in heaven to glorify Christ. It's not defined by man or laws. It's defined by the relationship between Christ and the Church.

The relationship between a woman and her children is written in heaven to glorify Christ. It is not defined by parenting manuals or counselors. It is defined by the relationship between the Father and His children and between the Christ-filled Church and His disciples.

The woman who seeks to do her part in making a relationship with her husband and children that honors the model authored by the Author of our faith will be fulfilling the ministry of homemaking whether she works outside her home or not; whether she's skilled in domesticity or not; whether she's running a tight ship or not.

Father, help me to remember that my calling as a homemaker is not so much in where I am physically in a day, or how well planned my week is, or how clean my bathrooms are, but rather how Christ honoring my relationships with my husband and children are. You change my prayers Father from, "Please let me stay home!" to, "Please give me a gentle and quiet spirit towards my husband so that he feels safe and secure around me." You transform my requests from, "Please help my kids to obey!" to, "Please grant me YOUR patience and wisdom in nurturing and teaching them!" Father, You're always changing me. Thank you for being patient. You are my heart's desire! I have no greater joy than to live a life that brings You honor. And I'm in total dependence upon You to do that!

What are your thoughts? Do you need to adjust your managment and footwashing aspects of homemaking so that you have a more Christ honoring relationship with your husband and children?

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

March's Giveaway Winner

2009-03-30T07:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I tried to make that cute crocheted beach bag, but it just never turned out. So the winner of March's giveaway will still be getting the A Shepherd Looks... book, but will get a little homeade journal and fresh smelling little jar candle from me instead.

And that winner is:

Andrea from Under Grace and Over Coffee!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

What keeps me where I am?

2009-03-28T09:04:00.001-07:00

One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn as a disciple of Christ is that after knowing the freedom granted me in Christ comes a test of willingness to limit what I can do, not by law, but by the love of Christ.

Paul said while he was in a physical prison:

But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel, so that it has become evident to the whole palace guard, and to all the rest, that my chains are in Christ;
- Philippians 1:12-13 NKJV

Paul had very real physical limitations, but he didn't see his physical chains or prison as keeping him from doing God's will. He believed that NOTHING could limit him other than the love of Christ. Only the love of Christ could really constrain Paul to joyfully, prayerfully, and boldly remain in a terrible prison. God had sprung him free before. He knew God could now. But he believed that if there was anything holding him back from traveling the known world to spread the good news of God's salvation in Christ, it was Christ's love for the people right there in that prison, including the "whole palace guard."

God is teaching me that these past 4 years. He's freed me from loveless law that coldly, bitterly, and begrudgingly says , "I have to do this cause I'm a Christian. I have to submit to my husband cause I'm a Christian.... etc." I could have walked a way. He certainly gave me a wide opened door. But His love binds me. The love that went to the cross while I was yet a sinner, and enemy of God, is my chain. I have to stay in the place where He has me ministering His humble, submitted love to my husband, and His nurturing, training love to my children, because how could I do anything else!? His love binds me to them!

( image found here)

The bond of "Poor me I'm stuck in this marriage, with these kids, and I have to stay because it's 'the law'," will hold for awhile. But it'll look for that "legal" way out. It'll look for a way to set itself free. But the bond of the Love of Christ will be compelled to stay united in marriage and pouring its life out for the training and nurturing of its children, and even when there is a "legal" way out, it will not take it. The bond of the love of Christ is unbreakable.

It compelled Paul to see his physical chains as nothing, and it compelled Paul to see his freedom from physical chains in Acts 16 as nothing. Only the love of Christ held Paul firmly to his prison cell, or pulled him "bound" for Jerusalem where chains, beatings and torment awaited him.

Truly I have tasted of the love of Christ. Lord let me not forget and start seeing physical chains, or loopholes out... let Your love constrain me.

Is Christ's love compelling you to stay where you are though you could go? Is Christ's love compelling you to go where you go or are you just thinking, "This is the best option,"?

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

2009-03-23T12:28:00.000-07:00

Hi blog friends.

I'm technically back from spring break, but I'm still not back to blogging yet. I look forward to sharing with you and finishing my series on homemaking when I return, hopefully in a few days.

I'm also asking for your prayers. I have a job interview today at 3pm Pacific Time with my state's juvenille corrections system for a pool nursing postion there. I haven't interviewed EVER on a panel interview like I'll be going to today. My heart is for and with my husband and children and yet I'm stepping out in obedience. Pray for me will ya? I'd soooooo appreciate it!

Thanks!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Last LOGOS post

2009-03-20T05:48:00.001-07:00

I'm wrapping up my LOGOS series over at Exemplify Online's blog today. I'm talking about finishing the race.

Come join me!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

This homemaker's taking a spring break

2009-03-16T10:07:00.000-07:00

In our house it's spring break this week. I have a host of things before me that need to take priority in my time and so I'm taking this week off. I have so much I want to share, and Lord willing I'll get to do so next week.

One of the things I want to share is the last post on the subject of homemaking in my Matters of the Home series. The last post will be about how homemaking is essentially the building up of relationships within the home for God's glory. I really look forward to writing that out and pray that I can communicate the vision God's given me for building up the relationship of marriage, parenting and being a neighbor all for His glory.

In the mean time you can read through my past posts in the Matters of the Home series here, here and here.

I also want to share with you more on my Love Dare journey. I'm on day 24 of the book, although I should be close to day 40 actually... some days have taken a week or more :) But in reality my love dare journey started 4+ years ago and will continue (by God's grace) as long as I live and my husband lives. So look for more Love Dare journey posts when I return.

Don't forget my March giveaway. Go here to enter.

Here's a word that's really speaking to me these days. May it bless you too:

I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given Me to do. - John 17:4 NKJV

I know those are Jesus' words. And by His life living in me, I pray that I too can lay down tonight, or be ready to leave this world when God says, "Times up Sheila", saying, "I have glorified You on the earth Lord Jesus. I have finished the work which You gave me to do." He's given me a husband. He's given me two sons. He's given me today. He's given me the people I will meet and the footwashing tasks that need to be done though I don't necessarily enjoy doing them. He's given me a home to watch over and I want to say, "I've finished what You gave me to do Lord."

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Gianna Jessen- Abortion Survivor

2009-03-15T07:19:00.000-07:00

The love of Christ for men and women... for human life comes through so beautifully and powerfully in this speech. I hadn't heard her before... all I can say is Wow! I-wanna-be-like-that-wow!

Part 1

Part 2

"Men! You are made for greatness. You are made to stand up and be men. You are made to defend women and children, not stand by and turn your head when you know murder is occuring and do nothing about it. You are not made to use women and leave us alone. You are made to be kind and great and gracious and strong and stand for something! Because men, listen to me! I am too tired to do your job!
Women. You are not made for abuse. You are not made to sit and not now your worth and your value. You are made to be fought for! Forever! So now is your moment. What sort of people are you going to be? I trust incredible. I trust, men, you will rise to the occasion. To the politicians listening, particularly to the men, I
would say this: You are made for greatness, set your politics aside. You are made to defend what is right and good. This firey young girl will stand here and say: NOW is your moment." - Gianna Jessen.

*thanks to Fade to Black for these videos

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

C.S. Lewis on sin

2009-03-14T14:32:00.001-07:00

"Every sin is the distortion of an energy breathed into us..."
--from Letters to Malcolm by C.S. Lewis

I tried to say that in like 3 long posts over at Exemplify in my LOGOS series on sin. Lewis did it much better!!!!

Thanks to Fade to Black for sharing that quote.

Here are the links to my posts if you want to hear a housewife try to explain that sentence:

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

2009-03-13T06:41:00.001-07:00

I'm over at Exemplify Online's blog today. Come join me :)

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

The Triune Ministry of Homemaking: Footwashing

2009-03-11T01:00:00.000-07:00

"She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands." Proverbs 31:13 KJV

When I think about why homemaking (remember, I'm not talking about absence from working outside the home. I'm talking about managing, serving and building relationships in your home for God's glory) is so important to me, and why I believe its such a vital (not trivial) part of living out a life of faith in Christ as a wife and mom, I think of John 13.

John 13 contains the account of Jesus washing the disciples feet just hours before being betrayed and ultimately crucified.

It begins with:

Now before the feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. And supper being ended, the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray Him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. - John 13:1-5

Homemaking certainly isn't defined by not working outside your home, but it is largely lived out by serving in the hands-on daily tasks that never stay finished in a home. It's the laundry. The toilet cleaning. The picking up of things all day. It's the washing dishes and putting them away. It's the organizing of cabinets and ridding of accumulated clutter. It's putting away laundry. It's ironing. It's bedmaking and mirror cleaning. It's picking up dog poop and cleaning litter boxes. It's pulling weeds and dusting blinds. The list goes on and on. Every home has "footwashing" tasks that must be done or else... its gonna start to stink! :)

Footwashing, in Jesus' day, was considered the lowest of the low jobs. In fact, amongst Jews, even a Jew who was a slave would not stoop to footwashing. Only a slave from among the "heathen" would be appointed the despised chore of footwashing.

But Jesus, the Creator of the Universe, the King of kings, the Redeemer of souls, the Holy God in Flesh... He washed feet!

The day to day tasks of caring for a home are not glamorous. They aren't exactly the jobs we all line up to get. But if Jesus were walking around our houses in flesh every day, He'd be doing those jobs gladly. Why? Because that's the kind of God we have. He stoops down to do what others don't want to do. He knows in doing so something is quickened within us.

Like Peter, if we saw Jesus on the floor, scrubbing up dried urine behind the toilet, we'd see our wise and powerful Lord and say, "No! Don't do that Lord!" But in bending down to do such a lowly task, Jesus, in washing the disciples feet, was impressing on their hearts (and all of us) the true character of God, and the model He desires us to follow. When we submit to the Spirit of Jesus in us Who desires to clean our toilets and fold the never-ending pile of laundry, we let Him impress on the hearts of those in our families the character of Christ, and we give our children a model to follow.

But footwashing is not just doing unwanted chores. It's also touching the lives of our husbands and children with holy hands, even when sin has dirtied them up, even when the dirt of this world has made them a little dusty, even when they kinda stink to us.

It's choosing to wash our children with the water of God's word. It's stooping down when one son talks rudely to another son, looking them in the eye and gently saying, "Son, that was rude. Jesus died for your brother. Jesus says he's worth a lot. And since Jesus died for him you are to treat him with respect." Rather than screaming, "KNOCK IT OFF! I'M SICK OF HEARING YOU GUYS FIGHT!" (Is it only me, or does that senario ever happen in your house?)

Footwashing is also applied to those who reject Christ. Jesus washed Judas' feet... without pinching his toes! :) Whether it be our husbands when they don't know Christ, or our husbands when they do know Him and just aren't obeying Him, or whether it be a prodigal child... sometimes, as homemakers, our footwashing means a willingness to be a refreshing and pure presence that serves that other person even when they don't respond.

I think often times our husbands respond to the footwashing tasks we do, and the spiritual footwashing acts of maybe rubbing their backs when they're distant or saying "You're a treasure to me honey" when they aren't being so sweet, are hard for our husbands to accept. Some of us have husbands I think who are like Peter. They don't want us to "lower" ourselves to those things but in their protest they are really keeping us from intimacy with them.

Jesus said to Peter, "If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me." I can see how that truth can apply to intimacy in marriage. If we don't allow our husbands to do some of the footwashing things in our lives when they desire to, we're going to miss out on some intimate connection with them. And the same goes with us. If we shrink back from those footwashing things, our husbands are going to miss out on a level of intimacy with us. Some times our husbands need to hear us say with a smile, "I know I don't have to do that... but I want to!"

I know I've seen this in my own marriage. As God's moved in me, desiring to wash feet in my house through cleaning and ironing, massages and special dinners, I've heard my husband say, "You don't have to do that." It's given me such an opportunity to respond with the heart of Christ saying, "I want to do this babe!"

Do I always do that? NO! But when I do I overflow with an unexplainable joy! And there's an intimacy, an interdependence, and a deepened friendship that develops between my husband and I. And there's also 4 little eyes watching, learning how to "wash feet"with gladness.

What are some ways you can engage more in footwashing things in your home?

When's the last time you reached out and touched your husband or kids with kindness even when they weren't too receptive?

What are your thoughts on this footwashing aspect of homemaking?

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Giving myself to the ministry God has given me

2009-03-08T16:15:00.001-07:00

"Don't let anyone think less of you because you are {a woman, wife, or mom}. Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. Until I get there, focus on reading the Scriptures to {your kids, or those who are in your life on a daily basis}, encouraging the believers, and teaching them {as a woman especially, teaching them the good things from Titus 2:4-5}. Do not neglect the spiritual gift you received... Give your complete attention to these matters. Throw yourself into your tasks so that everyone will see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right, and God will save you and those who hear you." -from 1 Timothy 4:12-16 NLT, application added by me

This past week I've been hearing one re-occurring message: Sharpen your focus Sheila! Do what God has called you to do!

As I was listening to these messages on my ipod over at Searchlight this week, God stopped me in my tracks! The very things I've been stirred in my heart towards- focusing in on loving my husband unconditionally, prayer, doing the everyday acts of service that fill my life as a homemaker, and teaching my kids God's word- Pastor Jon Courson was teaching on. (Just as a God-moment side note, the teachings are from 1991, but were played on the radio this week... just when I needed to hear them!)

I'd highly encourage any of you moms, wives... anyone, to listen to these messages if you feel so led. They really do speak to the need to not try and do a million things, but to just do what God has given us. And we can know for sure that He has given us our homes. Beyond that, we each learn who God has placed in our lives and on our hearts to minister to.

Here's the link:

John 17:1-11 (Free audio or video) Or if you'd rather, you can listen on your ipod. Just order the radio show Searchlight messages from John 17:1-11 parts 1,2 and 3.)

Oh Lord, help us to be faithful with the few people You've entrusted to us. Help us as wives and moms to fulfill the ministry You've set before us. Manifest Your name with our lives to our children and husbands, neighbors, family and friends. Give us ears to hear Your exacting word for those in our lives that we might be vessels through which You open ears and eyes to see Jesus. And also Lord, help us to be faithful in obeying what we already know, if we don't know what's next. Help us to hunger and thirst for Your written word and to feed on it and feed it to our little ones and those You've placed in our lives! This is truly my prayer in the character of Jesus!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Just because I LOOOOVE Girlscout cookies

2009-03-08T14:37:00.000-07:00

Yum! I just bought Girl Scout cookies... and they're already gone! No box of Samoas lasts in this house more than an hour!

I think this little blog thingy's right... I'm pretty much a shortbread cookie!

Thanks to Kristen I now know I am a Trefoil and I now need to go back to those girls down the street and see if they have any left!

Have a great rest of your Sunday my fellow cookies :)

You Are Shortbread / Trefoils

You are well grounded in life, and you're prepared for any challenge that comes your way.

You are a straight shooter who plays by the rules. You're old fashioned in that regard.

You don't sugar coat anything. People can trust you to be honest and loyal.

Compared to most people, you're quite assertive. You have no problem asking for what you want.

What Girl Scout Cookie Are You?

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3